Rekindle
by Blue Penguin Lightning
Summary: After being missing for almost a month, Jade escapes. Mentally and emotionally though, she's still trapped, and you'll never guess who's there to help pick up the pieces when Beck and her friends can't do it all. Part III of III. Sequel to Broken. Runner-up for The Topaz Awards 2013.
1. Own the Night

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

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Author's Note: So we're on to Part III. By the end of this chapter, you will know who's POV it is, if you haven't already from the summary.

I do have to send out a special shoutout to ElisaCollette. Without your fic, _Try Again Tomorrow_, I don't know how this chapter would have turned out.

You will notice that has a M rating. While not every chapter will qualify into the M category, there are certain events that do. Please read with caution. I will let you know when those M chapters appear. It's mostly with flashbacks.

Also, I am horrible at dates. I can usually handle a day or two after finish writing something before I post it. After that, I start losing it. This chapter you're reading now, was the second chapter I wrote in the entire trilogy, if that tells you how long I've been waiting to post it.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter (provided that I can send you that message).

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**Own the Night**

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I continued to clutch my stomach and side with my arm as I walked on, despite the pain. I wasn't sure how long I'd been bleeding now or walking or even how far I had walked from the Hollywood sign where they left me, thinking I was dead. I didn't even know where I was going at this point. But every step I took was one step further away from _them_.

I crashed to knees as I made my way to the top of the hill, screaming in pain. I wasn't sure how much further I could go but I knew I had to keep going. I had managed with the pain for this long; it wasn't like more time was going to make much of a difference at this point. Right now, I needed to get somewhere where I knew I would be safe. I took a moment, knowing that if I didn't take the time to catch my breath and sort of figure out my next move, I wasn't going to get anywhere in the long run.

"I am so upset!"

"It's not my fault they ran out of the rainbow sprinkles!"

I knew those voices. Vega. Trina and Tori. If I could hear them, they had to be close which also meant I was close to someone. Granted, I wasn't particularly fond of Tori and I definitely didn't like Trina, but I figured they had to be my best bet at this point. They were the closest and I couldn't keep going forever. With everything I'd endured over the last month, particularly over the last twenty–four hours, I was surprised I lasted as long as I did. I needed to stop but I couldn't do that until I knew I was safe.

As I took my first step down the hill, I lost my footing and slipped. I clenched my eyes tightly as I rolled down the hill, rolling over the multitude of rocks and branches and chunks of dirt. I was almost relieved when my back hit the side of Tori's porch, which ultimately stopped me from moving. I took a deep breath as the pain began to overwhelm me once again. I could feel it radiating through my body and I wanted it to go away. I wiped the dirt off my face and forced myself to stand up. I'd done it once this evening; I could do it again.

I made my way onto the porch and stopped just short of the door. I was out of breath just from the few steps I had taken from the bottom of the hill to the door. I wasn't entirely sure why but I had a few good guesses if I had to take one. I rang the doorbell and waited. That's all I could really do at this point. With Tori's dad being a cop, I knew it was a bad idea to even contemplate kicking the door in, not that I had the strength to anyway. I barely had the strength to walk right now.

"Jade?" Tori asked, holding a container of frozen yogurt in her hand when she opened the door. She looked absolutely shocked that I was at her door, not that I could blame her. Under any other circumstances, I never would have come to her, but I was desperate and she was right here. She was the closest person and I couldn't afford to be picky right now. I wasn't even going to try.

"Can I come in?" I asked weakly. I was leaning against the door frame, barely able to hold myself up any more. I was shivering from being outside for so long and had absolutely no energy left. All I knew now was I was safe and that was enough for the moment being.


	2. Footsteps Even Lighter

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

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Author's Note: So I know the last chapter was short but I didn't want to overwhelm you guys too much. I hope you enjoy this and there's a *happy* moment at the end. It wasn't originally intended but I knew if I didn't do it now, you would all come after me later.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter (provided that I can send you that message).

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**Footsteps Even Lighter**

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I never realized how badly sitting would hurt and I quickly realized that sitting wasn't going to be an option. But I guess with all my injuries, I shouldn't have been surprised. I quickly discovered that even though lying down hurt, it didn't hurt as badly once I stopped moving. I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over my body as best I could with the same hand I was holding to my stomach. My left arm was throbbing and had been for the last few hours.

I was cold and hungry and hurting all over and all I really wanted to do was sleep…and _forget_. Mostly just forget.

"Jade, what happened to you?" Tori asked. "Where have you been?"

I shook my head. None of it was important anyway. What was important was that I here and away from _them_, that I was alive.

"Hey, Tori, do you know where Dad put the cam – whoa, what's Jade doing here?" Trina asked. I could hear her in what I presumed to be another pair of Fazzini heels.

"Will you shut up and get Mom and Dad? This is serious! She's hurt!"

I knew it was bad too. I knew what they had done to me. Every memory was so vivid and still fresh as if it had just happened. The most recent one I couldn't get out of my head. I couldn't get Trinity's voice out of my mind. I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing them…seeing _her_…

"Eww…you're bleeding," Trina pointed out, obviously disgusted.

I pulled my hand away, only to find it covered in more blood, like I had seen it before. _My blood_. It wasn't stopping. _Like before_.

"I know," I whispered. I even knew why I was bleeding but I didn't want to go into the specifics, especially not with Tori or Trina.

"Will you go get Mom and Dad _now_?!"

Trina nodded her head. I guess she finally understand the seriousness of the situation I was in. Not that the fact that I had been missing for the last month meant anything at all. Somehow, I doubted she even noticed.

"Fine but if you see Dad's camera–"

"Trina! Now!" Tori yelled at her.

I could hear Trina mumbling something under her breath but I really didn't care.

"Tori?" her mom asked a few minutes later. It took me a moment, but then I remembered that Tori's mom's name was Holly.

"I need help," she said.

Holly took one look at me and proceeded to the kitchen before coming back with a small kitchen towel she had folded up into a tight square.

"Jade, I have to see how bad it is, alright?"

She sat down next to me and slowly lifted the bottom of the long sleeved purple shirt I was wearing to see the wound. I couldn't help but wince when Holly applied pressure to the towel to my stab wound, which was only one of my many wounds. I didn't even know if that was the most prominent one but I didn't care right now. All I wanted was the pain to go away.

"Jade, you have to go to the emergency room," she said.

I shook my head. I didn't want to deal with doctors and the police; I just wanted this to go away so I could get on with my life, if that was even possible. The last twenty-seven days had been nothing short of torturous in all aspects.

_Even catching a glimpse of Beck and Cat earlier today and not being allowed to say a word to them after I interacted with Beck was torture. Watching them walk out of the coffee shop was almost worse because I was almost positive it was going to be the last time I saw them._

"Keep pressure on it and get her in the car," Holly ordered Tori.

"You're being nice to me," I whispered as Tori held the towel to my stomach. I knew that I was acting completely unlike myself but when you come face to face with death several times, it changes you. It changes a lot of things.

"Well, I'm not just going to sit here and let you bleed. We were all worried about you. Can you walk?" she asked.

"Sort of," I replied. I could if I wanted to but having support made the process much easier. Not moving was easier but I knew I wasn't getting out of not going to the hospital.

"Trina!" Holly shouted from the kitchen.

"What?!"

"I need you to go start my car!"

"No! I'm busy updating my Slap profile!"

"Katrina Vega! Now!"

I couldn't help but smirk a little, despite the pain. It was nice to see someone, even if it was her mom, put Trina in her place. The world didn't revolve around her.

As I finally stood up, Tori wrapped her arm around me to help prop me up, which I really needed. Now that I had had a few minutes to catch my breath and breathe, trying to move again felt nearly impossible. As I attempted to walk, I felt my legs give out from beneath me. I don't know how or even why, but Tori caught me before I reached the floor.

"Jade," I heard Tori whisper but I just shook my head. "Mom!"

I felt Holly put pressure on the towel as she helped prop my up further.

"What?" Trina hollered as she came around in front of me.

"Go start my car," she ordered. She let go of me just long enough to toss Trina her keys.

"Fine," she huffed. Now I was really glad that Tori was home and was completely unlike her sister. Even though Tori and I weren't friends, she was still a good person and right now, I owed her.

Holly was patient with me as we made our way to the garage via the door in the kitchen. I could hear the car running but Trina was nowhere in sight, not that I really cared. Tori opened the door to the backseat and Holly helped me inside.

"Sitting hurts," I said. Holly was repositioning the towel on my stomach.

Holly nodded her head. "It's only for a moment. We'll take care of it."

I nodded my head. I had dealt with the growing pain for a while; I could deal with it for another moment. I hoped at least.

"Is lying down easier for you?" she asked. "Is that why you were lying on the couch?"

I nodded my head again. I didn't know what was going on with my ribs but they were killing me. Sitting only made the pain more evident and quite honestly, I couldn't handle anymore. Just make it go away.

As Tori sat down in the backseat, Holly helped to lie my down so my head was laying on Tori's lap and Tori was able to keep pressure on my stab wound. I didn't know why Holly was being so nice to me but anything had to better than Trinity. It had too. That woman…I couldn't do what she had done to people.

"You're in a lot of pain, aren't you?" Tori asked me softly as Holly shut the door to the backseat and put the car in gear to drive.

I nodded my head. The pain was getting worse. I didn't know how it could but it was.

"Talk to me about something…anything," I begged. I needed a distraction.

"Um…oh: Cat's getting addicted to coffee," Tori stated. "Beck has to buy it for her at least once a day now."

"And Beck?" I asked. Breathing was become a more laborious task with each passing moment.

"He misses you."

"Does he?" _Did he?_

"Well, yeah. He stops by your locker all the time and just stares at it. He even carries around a pair of scissors. Black ones."

"Will you let them know I'm alright? That I'm alive? They need to know," I whispered. I bit my lip as I tried to breathe. The pain was overwhelming.

Tori's cell phone started ringing as I continued to gasp for breath.

"Beck, I can't talk right now," she said suddenly.

I immediately reached up for Tori's cell phone. Beck was on the other end of it. I wanted to hear Beck's voice. I _needed_ to hear Beck's voice.

"Here," Tori said, pressing it against my ear.

"Beck?"

"Jade?!"


	3. Reunited

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

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Author's Note: Enjoy.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter (provided that I can send you that message).

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**Reunited**

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"You're alive," Beck whispered. "Jade…"

"Yeah," I said softly. I didn't why I wanted to cry but I feel tears running down my cheek. Getting to hear Beck's voice…it meant everything to me.

"I love you."

I waited so long to hear those words. Three words…three beautiful, amazing, empowering words. Hearing them made me feel a little better, if only for a moment.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"With Tori."

Tori grabbed the phone out of my hands and I didn't even have it in me to fight to get it back.

"We're taking her to hospital," Tori said. "You need to meet us there. It's bad, Beck."

I knew it was bad and while I didn't want to go to the emergency room, I did need help. I just didn't want to go through everything there and have people poke and prod me and I knew they were going too. There was no way around it.

When her mom pulled up to the entrance of the emergency room, I had rarely ever felt more pain as I got out of the car. I hung onto Tori as she helped me into the emergency room. Walking was painful. Hell, even breathing was painful. I kept hearing a popping noise and I didn't know exactly what it was but I knew it couldn't have been good. Nothing about me was good anymore, not even my memory. I couldn't even remember what happened five minutes ago, but that might have very well been due to the pain.

As I leaned against the receptionist counter and held the towel to my stomach, Tori tried to explain what was going on and demand that I get immediate medical attention. When I looked down to see how bad it was, I saw the blood was starting to seep through the towel, probably from all the moving I'd been doing in the last few minutes.

"Tori?" I whispered shakily. I felt my body wavering side to side before I collapsed to the floor and everything went black.

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"Go get coffee if you need to stay awake. The last thing you need to do is fall asleep on Jade when she wakes up."

I could hear the faint sound of beeping but I couldn't figure out what it was. My entire body felt heavy but that didn't seem possible because I knew I had to have lost weight during my kidnapping. I barely got to eat.

I moaned as I started to feel some of the pain. I didn't know where it was coming from but it was evident. Or maybe I was just really sensitive from not having to feel it from being unconscious.

"You're awake. It's about time. The doctors were started to get worried," Tori said.

"I dreamt there was purple fish eating pavement," I mumbled. I wasn't even sure if what came out of my mouth was coherent. "And it was singing. It had Trina's voice."

"They had to put you on something really strong," she continued. "I'm not sure what but it must have been really strong if you dreamt that. Are you feeling any better?"

"Not really."

I wasn't one to complain but I was tired of the pain.

"You have a three broken ribs and your arm is broken in four places. They found bruises and cuts and burns all over your body. Not to mention that it looked like you had been stabbed. Jade, what the hell happened to you? What did they do to you?" Tori asked.

"Will you tell Beck and Cat that I'm alive?" I asked, changing the subject. I knew I couldn't avoid it forever but I did _not_ want to discuss what happened with Tori. I couldn't believe that I hadn't called her Vega yet.

"They know," Tori whispered. "Beck's here and I think Cat's still trying to get here. She texted that she was trying to find someone who wasn't her brother to give her a ride. He replaced the rope in his car with a chain. I think my mom went to get her."

"Beck's here?"

"You don't remember talking to him on the phone?" Tori asked me.

I shook my head. I had talked to Beck?

"Can you get Beck? I wanna see him," I whispered. "Please?"

"He'll be back in a couple minutes. He went to get some coffee. He hasn't slept for almost twenty-four hours so I made him get coffee to stay awake. I knew you'd want to see him."

"What time is it?"

"A little after one in the afternoon. We got you here a little after ten last night. They had to rush you into surgery. Jade, I don't think you even realize how bad it was," Tori whispered to me.

"Will you stay? I don't want to be alone, please?"

I never thought I'd be asking Tori to stay with me but I didn't want to be alone right now. While I wouldn't say it aloud, I was terrified still. They didn't know I was alive. I didn't want them to find me. I didn't want them to finish what they started…what _she_ started.

"I won't go anywhere," she said softly. "We're here for you. You're our friend and we were all worried. And as soon as Beck gets back in here, he'll be right by your side. He has been since they let him in."

My head jerked toward the door as I heard it start to turn. The one thing I had taken for this entire ordeal was that almost every sound made me alert and suspicious. But when I met Beck's eyes with my own, I started to let my guard down.

"Jade," he said, almost to himself, and I nodded my head. I didn't know what to say to Beck. As he came around to the side of the bed, I wrapped my hand in his and brought them up to my forehead. I didn't know why but it felt right but I did know that I didn't want him to touch my face or the scar that now resided on it. Beck leaned forward and gently kissed my forehead where it wasn't already obstructed by my hand.

"Tell Cat that I'm fine. I know it's not completely honest, but it'll make her feel better," I whispered softly.

"But you're not," he whispered. "Jade–"

I shook my head. He reached to stroke my cheek but I turned away from him, still keeping my hand intertwined with his. I didn't want him to see or even touch the scar. It would only cause questions and I didn't want to answer anything…just forget.

"The doctor said you'll probably be tired with all the painkillers you're on so you might be sleeping a lot," Tori said, sitting down beside Beck.

"I love you. I always will, Jade. Tori's right though: your body needs rest. I don't know what they put you through but if you need to sleep, it's alright," Beck told me. "What matters is that we have you back."

I felt tears sting my eyes. I wanted to shake my head at Beck. He didn't know. No one knew was it like or how scary it was that every moment might have been my last.

What was worse was that _they_ didn't know I was still alive.

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When I came back around a few hours later, I was surprised that Beck wasn't at my side, like he had been when I feel asleep. But what surprised me more was who was there.

"Mom?"

"We're here," she said softly. "How are you feeling?"

I pursed my lips together. I couldn't feel much of anything, probably because I'd been pumped full of painkillers, not that I was complaining about that. Not feeling any sort of pain right now was a nice change…a welcome change.

"She's awake," my mom said. It took me a good full minute to realize who she was talking to.

"Dad?"

"Jade," he replied. I could hear the slightest hint of emotion in his voice, but I couldn't tell if he was angry or sad or relieved. But there was something and it confused me. Or maybe I was dreaming from all the pain medications and IVs I was on. If I had a dream about some stupid fish eating sidewalk, anything was possible.

As I started to drift back off though, I could swear that I saw a tear run down my Dad's face.


	4. The Rebel Scar

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

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Author's Note: Yay! It's my birthday!

So this chapter, along with a few others, are the main reason that _Rekindle_ earned itself a M rating.

This chapter is shorter than the others because I've separated the scene from everything else. I am asking you to use your judgment on whether or not you should read this chapter. You know what you can handle and if you can't read this, I understand. You have been forewarned.

Also, remember that jacket the police found in chapter 10 of Broken? See, I had a plan for that all along… (if you do not want to read this chapter, please message me, and I will tell you what happened if you want to know)

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter (provided that I can send you that message).

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**The Rebel Scar**

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My parents were asleep, just on opposite sides of the hospital room, when I came back around. Judging back the lack of both artificial and natural light in the room, it was night. Had I slept through the entire day?

Wait…no…I briefly remember seeing Beck. I had talked to Beck. I had talked to Tori. She had brought me here. She was one of the reasons that I was alive right now. Then I remembered why I was in the hospital. I remembered everything. I looked down at my right arm, which was wrapped in a white, sterile bandage, and I immediately remembered why…

"_We're going to do something different today," Trinity announced as she walked in, locking the door behind her. _

_I shuddered just at the thought. Something different probably meant something worse in Trinity's mind. I don't know how but it felt like every time she had come to see me or I was brought to her, she had something planned that was worse than what happened before._

_She pulled out her knife, the same one that she used on me the night I made what I'm sure was the hardest decision of my life. There wasn't much that did scare me but Trinity and that knife did. I knew that that knife was going to be the end of me someday, especially at the rate of torture I was enduring. How I had managed to survive the last two and a half weeks by myself, was a mystery to me._

"_I'll be nice today and I won't do anything to you," she said. She set her knife down in front of me and then pushed it closer to me. "But you will."_

_I wanted to shake my head but I knew not to say no to Trinity. She, Nash, and Stiles were very clear on what was expected of me. In short, if I did something they didn't approve of, Beck and Cat were on the line. They might have had their freedom but I had to make sure it stayed that way._

_Trinity grabbed my arm, still tethered to the wall with just enough slack for me to walk to the other side of the room, and traced over my rebel star tattoo with her fingernails. She grabbed her knife and placed it in my hand._

"_Carve."_

_My first instinct was to scream. Scream…run…fight…but who was supposed to come to my rescue? The only people who would hear me would have been Nash or Stiles and they didn't care. They were letting this happen. Instead, I looked at Trinity with tears in my eyes, silently begging her to not make me do this._

"_I want to see the blood flowing down your arm. Carve."_

_I shook my head. I couldn't make myself do it. She grabbed the knife out of my hand and cut into my cheek. I immediately brought my hand up to it and tears pooled in my eyes as I felt blood start to run down my face. Trinity pulled my hand away and placed the knife back inside of it._

"_I said carve."_

I remembered how she wanted me to trace all the lines of my tattoo and how I had nearly passed out when I was done.

"_Such a good girl," she whispered into my ear when I finally did finish. I was crying from all the pain I was in. The pain Trinity inflicted on me was bad enough but having to do it to myself under her direction was so much worse because if I didn't do it right the first time, she would just make me repeat the action._

I would never forget that morning. I wanted to forget everything they, but mostly Trinity, had put me through but I had more than just emotional reminders; I had scars that would never go away. I knew I was going to have to relive it all shortly anyway. My parents were going to want to know what happened and I'm sure they wanted me to talk to the police and all I wanted was to go home and get on with my life.

_Beck's jacket was sitting beside me. It was the one thing I had managed to grab before they had yanked me away from that house. I was surprised that they let me keep it as long as they had. I loved having Beck's jacket. I slept with it every night. I looked at it and then back at my arm. The blood was seeping through my hand, staining it a deep crimson. I didn't want to put blood on Beck's jacket but I didn't see another choice. I had to stop the bleeding._

Somehow it didn't seem to matter than I had escaped Trinity. It was Trinity that I was truly scared of. I bore her scars and those were never going to go away. They were permanent reminders. I was never going to be able to look at myself without remembering every detail about her.

How she almost always kept her hair pulled back and wore a flower on the right side of her ponytail or behind her ear.

How she seemed to smile whenever she had a knife in her hand.

But the one thing I was never going to forget was her voice.


	5. Trapped

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

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Author's Note: First, I apologize for taking so long to get this out. This chapter frustrated the daylights out of me.

Jade might seem a little out of character in the second half of this but considering Trinity and what she put this girl through…well…creative license is a wonderful gift.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter.

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**Trapped**

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The one that that hadn't changed about my Dad: as soon as the sun was up, he was too.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked.

I glanced at that non-existent clock on the while. "Who knows."

"Jade," he began.

"Don't," I immediately said, cutting him off. It didn't really matter what he had to say. I didn't care. He hadn't been there before so why should it matter now?

I did my best not to have to speak to my parents. I knew they wanted to know what had happened but I didn't want to tell them. I didn't even want to tell Beck and I trusted him with my life.

Halfway through the morning, sometime after breakfast was served, David Vega came in and I knew exactly what he was after. I didn't even give him a chance to speak before I put my two cents into the conversation.

"I'm not talking to the police," I said softly, sitting up, which was more difficult than I thought but I couldn't keep lying down anymore. I wasn't going to relive the past twenty-seven days either.

"We need to know what happened," he stated.

"No, you _want_ to know what happened. There's a difference," I corrected.

"It's not me. The woman who had you, the FBI has been trying to catch her for five years. Jade, you, Beck, and Cat, are the only ones who have ever made it out alive. And you've spent more time with this woman than anyone. Anything you can give them will help."

I shook my head. My mind was made up already. I wasn't going to talk to them. It wasn't like they really listened because the next thing I knew, a FBI agent walked into my hospital room. She looked to be in her late thirties and her curly red hair was pulled back into a ponytail. The only thing I did like was that she wore all black. But I still didn't want to talk.

"I'm Agent Christina Clarkson and I'm one of the agents assigned to Jade's case," she said, shaking my parents' hands.

"I'm not talking about it!" I shouted. "What about that don't you understand?!"

"Would it be alright if I spoke to your daughter for a few minutes? I won't talk about what happened. I'd just like to talk to her," she said.

My parents exchanged a look at each other before my Dad nodded his head. I glared at them as they left with Officer Vega. Had I not made it evidently clear that I didn't want to talk to the police? I was pretty sure I had, even though I was on some really good painkillers.

"Does my opinion mean nothing?" I said as she sat down.

"If you don't want to talk to me about what happened, I have to respect that, and I won't force to do it."

"Then leave because I'm not going to talk about it."

Another agent made their way inside my room, despite my rather clear viewpoint of not wanting to talk.

"The press is asking for a statement still."

I shook my head as fear began to take over. They had a TV. They would find out. They'd know. "You can't. They don't know I'm alive."

"Jade-"

"She thinks I'm dead. You can't. Please!"

Trinity had put me through so much hell in those last few hours. I didn't want to know what she would do if she knew I was alive. She'd probably make sure that I wouldn't stay that way.

"Don't give them a statement. We can't put her in any danger. Her safety has to come first. If they press on, tell them no comment. I don't want a word getting out, is that clear?" Agent Clarkson stated but it didn't do anything to calm me down.

What if the news ran a story that someone like me had been found? What if Trinity and Nash and Stiles saw it? I didn't want them to come after me.

"We're not going to let anything happen to you," she said shortly after the other agent left.

I could only shake my head. I couldn't believe her. They didn't know what she could do…

Agent Clarkson pulled her chair closer to my bed. I scooted away as much as I could. I knew she worked for the FBI but that didn't put me much at ease. At first glance, Trinity didn't look dangerous either.

"Jade, I have no idea what this woman put you through, but if it's anything close to what she's done to her other victims-"

"You don't know what she's capable of," I whispered. I didn't even want her to start comparing me to other victims. I was alive even though I wasn't sure how anymore…most of them weren't.

"You're right. We don't and that's why we need your help."

"How many other victims?" I asked quietly after several minutes of silence.

"We've linked her to twenty-six other murders but we wouldn't be surprised if there are more. She's one of the most dangerous serial killers we've ever encountered," she said. "What did you mean earlier when you said they didn't know you were alive?"

I wanted to pull my knees up to my chest and hide in them. I didn't want to talk about her. Instead, I closed my eyes and wished all of this would go away, even though I knew that would never happen.

"They thought I was dead," I finally replied, opening my eyes to face her. I couldn't hide from this.

"Did they try to kill you?"

I closed my eyes and nodded my head. I could feel tears sliding down my cheeks. I bit my lip as I felt a sob come up my throat.

"How did you get away?"

I wouldn't answer. I didn't want to keep reliving it. I couldn't get Trinity out of my mind, no matter how hard I tried. I didn't understand how she did what she did or why she did it. In all the time I had spent with her, the only thing I figured out was that she was a sadistic fucked up psychopath and choosing to stay with her was probably the worst mistake I could have made.

"Do you not want to talk about it?" she asked.

My silence confirmed everything for her.

"It's alright. Now, I have to go speak with your parents regarding some safety precautions they should take until we can catch her. Jade, you've done great. Thank you," she said.

"Can you see if Beck Oliver's in the lobby first?" I asked.

It was weird. Yesterday, I barely wanted him to touch me and right now, I just wanted him at my side.

"You know, he asks about you. When we sat down with him yesterday to ask him more questions, he kept asking about you."

Somehow, that didn't surprise me.

In fact, it comforted me to know that Beck cared.


	6. Questions of Why

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I know the end of _Broken_ might have been sort of confusing on whether or not that was really Jade, and if it was, why didn't she fight. Well, here's your answer.

There is a flashback in this chapter. It's not graphic and for the record, the flashbacks aren't in order. When _Rekindle_ is all done, if you'd like me to, I will list out when each of the flashbacks happened because they all (I believe at least) coincide with a chapter in _Broken._

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter.

* * *

**Questions of Why**

* * *

If my body would have let me, I would have curled up into a ball as I waited for Beck. There wasn't a lot that scared me but the idea of Trinity coming after me to finish what she started terrorized me to no end because I know what she was capable and I knew she would use that knife and she would make it as painful as possible.

I didn't know what to say to Beck when he opened the door and our eyes connected. Honestly, I missed having him nearby. There was something about Beck that made me feel just a little safer. Maybe it was because when Trinity came after me after we all tried to escape, Beck stood up and sacrificed himself to keep me safe.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"That's a stupid question," I retorted. I was in the hospital after almost being murdered.

Beck sighed and sat down in the chair next to my bed. He took my hand into both of his and squeezed tightly. "I know."

"Then why bother even asking?"

"Because I don't know what else to say."

I didn't either. I pulled Beck's hands closer to me.

"Did you know she was a serial killer?" I whispered. I wish I had known that before I made that deal with Nash.

Beck nodded his head. "For about a week now…and then not knowing with you…the only reason I kept it together was for Cat."

"Did you take care of Cat for me?" I asked. "Is she alright?"

"She's fine, well, as much as she can be given what we've gone through. She's in the waiting room with a cup of coffee. I sort of got her addicted to that."

The idea of Cat being addicted to coffee was laughable in my mind and it made me smile. "How did you get her addicted to coffee? I only took her for mochas once a week. In three and a half weeks, you got her that addicted to coffee?"

"We went every day I didn't have physical therapy. She even tried black coffee…she doesn't like it by the way."

"Physical therapy?"

"For my knee. I finally got off the crutches a few days ago."

I had forgotten that they had smashed Beck's knee in with everything I was going through.

"Was it bad? Your knee?"

"I had to have surgery to get it put back together. But you…"

"I know it's bad. You don't have to say it," I said softly.

I turned away from Beck, needing a moment to myself, but I was afraid if I asked him to leave, he wouldn't come back and I wanted Beck around. Beck placed his hand on my back, right between my shoulder blades, like he used to do when I was upset. But my back wasn't like it was before…

"Don't touch my back," I seethed.

Despite the amount of pain I was from moving, I didn't want Beck to have his hand on my back and I wanted to make sure it stayed that way, even while I slept. Using the cast on my broken arm, I pushed myself so I went back to lying on my back. At least this way, no one would see it.

"Did they do this?" he asked. He parted my hair away from my face and ran his hand along the scar, the one Trinity caused by slicing into my cheek with her knife when I refused to carve my tattoo.

I nodded my head. Tears sprang at my eyes as Beck continued to run his fingers along it.

"No more," I said, pushing his hand away.

He sighed, obviously disappointed. Beck and I used to be very physical when we were around each other. But now, there were parts of my body I didn't want him to see and for him to even touch parts that were mangled and scarred…no.

"You know, you have visitors in the lobby," he said.

"I do?" I asked.

"And they really want to see you. Can they come in or do you just want it to be us?" he asked.

"Who?"

"Well, there's you, me, Cat, André, and Tori. I have no idea where Trina is, nor do I care since all she's done since I got back was hit on me."

"I'm not around, so she's hitting on you?"

My hatred for Trina seemed to grow stronger with each passing second.

"As long as Trina's not here, they can come in," I mumbled. I was still angry at Trina for being more concerned with her Slap page when I was clearly bleeding and injured. But I guess some people never change.

"I'll be right back," he whispered, kissing my forehead. I missed those little signs of affection. Little things I could handle, but they were few to none now.

It hit me shortly after Beck left that Robbie wasn't a part of that group anymore. I wished Robbie was here still, with Rex, even if I did want to cut the puppet up into a million pieces. I wondered how everyone was doing without him.

"Jade!"

I looked up and saw Cat. She ran toward me and wrapped her arms around me as tightly as she could.

"I missed you so much," she whispered. "So much."

"Me too," I replied.

"You missed yourself too?"

Cat had obviously misinterpreted what I said but I didn't care. I was just happy to see her again. Cat propped herself onto my bed and lay down beside me. Had it been anyone else but Cat, I would have kicked them off, but I couldn't say no to her.

"We really did miss you," André said, giving me a much smaller and less physical hug, which I appreciated.

"Beck said he thought he saw you in the coffee shop Friday," Cat said. "So I told him about the time my brother thought a goat was following him around the house."

Beck laughed a bit, which made me smile. I had missed his laugh. I had missed Cat's stories about her crazy brother.

"The girl I saw was wearing a dark…" Beck began before he stopped. "Tori, when Jade showed up at your house, what was she wearing?"

"Um, jeans and a long sleeved purple top I think," she replied.

"That's what she…that was you in the coffee shop," Beck said, putting the pieces together.

I could only nod my head, confirming his statement.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked.

"_I didn't say it was me!" I shouted. "They don't know!"_

_Stiles curled his arm over my chest, completely immobilizing me from running. Nash pulled my left arm toward him._

"_Please?" I cried. "Don't."_

"_You have to learn," Nash said._

"_You're gonna kill me anyway so why does it matter!" I shouted. _

"_You know, the longer you delay this, the longer I'm going to make your murder. I'll take my time killing you," Trinity stated._

"_You're seriously fucked up," I said. If she was going to kill me later, I might as well voice my opinion of her while I had the strength._

"_But I'm quite content with who I am."_

_Nash rolled the sleeve of my shirt up past my elbow. He placed one of his hands near my wrist and the other near my elbow. I shook my head, even though I knew it wouldn't do anything. If they were going to do something, they were going to do it; there was no talking them out of it._

"_So can we start now?" Trinity asked. "I've been looking forward to this all day."_

I wiped away the tears that were pooling underneath my eyes. I rarely ever let people see my cry, but I didn't care right now.

"Beck!" Tori shouted. "Look at Jade! Look at what you're doing to her! She needs your support, not your anger over a decision she couldn't control!"

"You could have said something," Beck stated, anger evident in his voice. "Anything."

"Don't think for a second that I didn't want to scream or tell you because I did. Beck, you have no idea, _no idea_, how hard it was to watch you walk out that door, and then to have to watch Cat walk out later and not being able to say a word," I said slowly, just to make sure he understood every word that left my mouth.

"Why didn't you say anything?" André asked.

I looked down at the thin blanket I was covered with.

"Why?" Beck questioned.

"Why are you being so mean to her?!" Cat shouted.

"She's lucky to be alive!" Tori yelled at Beck.

"She could have stopped all this!" Beck pointed out.

"Stop it!" I screamed. "I didn't say anything because they threatened to kill Beck and Cat if I did! That's why!"


	7. Home

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

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Author's Note: I know this took forever to get out but I kept scrapping most of it because I wasn't happy with it. I hope you guys like what I have.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter.

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**Home**

* * *

I was in the hospital for two weeks before they finally released me. I was still under strict orders of bed rest while my ribs healed up and I was on a myriad of medications that I couldn't keep track of. I knew that even though I was out of the hospital, my life wasn't going to be close to what it was before.

My parents had spent the last couple of days arguing about where I should stay. My mom had custody of me but my dad insisted that his house was safer. In the end, my mom won, pointing out that I needed to feel safe and the best way I could do that was to be in a place I knew and while I didn't say it out loud, I couldn't agree more. Besides, if I was at my mom's house, I was closer to my friends and I wanted them around.

As I waited for my parents to fill out my release papers, Beck kept me company in my hospital room. The nurse had brought in a wheelchair so I wouldn't have to walk out of reception. The doctors still didn't want me moving but they did agree to release me. But instead of sitting the wheelchair, I sat in Beck's lap, and laid back against him. It was almost as if none of this had ever happened.

"Are you going to be okay with your parents around?" Beck asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. My parents had never really been a part of my life, so even with everything going on, I wasn't sure just how attentive they might be.

"You call me if you need me, alright? Whenever," he said. He lifted my chin so his gaze was square with mine. "I mean it."

His thumb grazed across my cheek and I closed my eyes. I used to love who Beck would touch me. I felt important, needed, _special_, but now, I was just reminded.

"Don't touch it," I softly stated. I didn't want to be reminded of it anymore than I needed to.

I looked down at the bed, only to watch Beck's phone start vibrating. I reached down to pick it up, like I used to do every now and then, only to have Beck grab it first. After reading the message, he sighed softly and kissed the back of my head.

"Your mom is waiting out front with the car. The nurse will be here shortly to take you out," he said.

"They have your number?" I asked. My parents didn't even seem to care when Beck and I got together and now they have his phone number?

"It's a long _long_ story."

I was half-tempted to make Beck tell me why but I was exhausted. Two of my medications had been increased in dosage and of course, they were the two that made me drowsy and the ones I had to take the most frequent.

When the nurse quietly made her way inside my room, Beck helped me to sit up. After barely getting out of bed for the past two weeks, my body wasn't used to any sort of physical activity, so sitting up from Beck and making my way over to the wheelchair, even with his support, actually took a lot of out me. But as the nurse rolled me out, Beck never left my side. Somehow, I think this entire ordeal made our relationship stronger, better even.

My mom was waiting with the front passenger door open once we got outside. Beck helped me up and into the car and he was the only one I was willing to accept help from. He knew when I could hold my own and wasn't going to question any decision I made, with the exception of anything relating to Trinity.

"I'll see you soon," he said, kissing my cheek softly.

I shook my head and reached out for Beck's hand. I didn't want him to leave.

"You'll be fine," he reiterated.

"Come home with me," I whispered. "Or let me go to your RV. Please?"

"I'll see you soon. I promise," he said. He squeezed my hand reassuringly and then shut the car door. I watched him from the passenger side mirror as we drove away and it didn't take me any time at all to notice that my dad was in the car behind us. I remembered how when I was with everyone, how all I wanted to see was my parents, just to know this would all be over, but somehow, seeing them now, didn't seem to make a difference.

This nightmare wasn't over; it was just beginning. I managed to survive, by some miracle I'm sure, and I didn't need to be babied, especially not by my parents, so if that was their plan, they might as well let me stay with Beck.. I didn't mind it with Beck, but Beck had earned my trust over a long period of time. My parents had let me down more than enough times to let me know that I was on my own.

When I finally made my way up to my room once we arrived at the house, I saw that most of it had been untouched, with the exception of my bed, which was now made and had the blankets pulled back. I laid down and pulled the blankets close to being over my head as I tucked them underneath my arms. I was tired and the less movement I did, the easier it was for me.

"Get some rest," my father said from behind me. He grabbed my laptop from my desk and began to leave the room.

"Put my laptop back," I ordered. I knew I needed rest; I wasn't even going to attempt to argue it. The fact that I was lying in bed should have been a clear message to him that I was tired. But I was not letting him take the one piece of communication I had away from me.

"We'll talk about your computer later. For now, you need to rest."

I rolled my eyes and let my head fall back onto my pillow, the drowsiness quite apparent in my body, as my father walked out of my room with my laptop. It was bad enough that I was stuck in bed for another month and I was not going to spend that time just lying in bed with nothing to do.

But I let that thought drift way as the only thing I wanted to do right now was sleep.

* * *

When I woke back up a few hours later, my Dad was sitting in the chair across from my bed where I did my "What I Hate/Love" videos. He had a box in his hands but I didn't care enough to ask what it was. Probably some business thing he was missing because he was here.

"We got a new phone and number too. We've already had your contacts transferred," he said, handing the phone to me. "And your boyfriend already has your number."

"Thanks, I guess." At least I still had a phone. I wasn't completely cut off from everyone. I sat it down next to me and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Jade," he began but then he stopped.

"What?" I retorted.

My dad didn't say anything. He just walked out of the room, much like he had earlier. I knew it wasn't going to last. It was only a matter of time before my mom followed suit. I had practically taken care of myself for the last couple of years so I wasn't going to be surprised when I would have to do it myself again.

A minute later, I had a text on my phone, from my dad of all people.

_You need to understand where we're coming from._

I tossed my phone toward the end of the bed and laid back down as I felt pain start to emerge again. Ten minutes later, my mom came in, carrying a large glass of water and what I assumed to be more painkillers.

"Why is he even here?" I questioned. I put the pills in my mouth and swallowed them down a large gulp of the water.

"Because he needs to be," my mother answered.

"You've had custody for ten years and now he decides that he wants to be a father to me?!" I yelled. I didn't care if he heard me. I actually sort of wanted him to hear me. I wanted him to know my opinion.

My mom sat down on my bed and looked at me.

"It's more than that," she finally said.

"Then what is it?" I prodded.

"Do you have any idea how much danger you're in?"

I knew I was in a lot of danger. Probably more so now than when I was with them because I wasn't dead. I mean, I was glad to be alive, but living in fear didn't seem like much of a life.

"Your father and I need to make sure you're safe. With that being said, until the FBI can catch these people, you can't be left alone," she explained.

"What are you going to do? Handcuff me to the bed?" I sarcastically replied. I already felt like a prisoner again and it was only the first day of what should have been my freedom.

"Your father is staying here four days a week and I'll be working from home. Most days, at least."

I crossed my arms across my chest and huffed. I wanted to make it perfectly clear to my parents what I thought of this arrangement.

"Jade, I know your father hasn't been a huge part of your life…"

"He hasn't been a part of my life at all for the last two years!" I shouted. "The last time we even talked was when he saw my show!"

"I have seen your father cry twice in the twenty-four years I've known him," she said. There a tense moment of silence while I waited for her to continue on. "Once, when you were born and how happy he was that he had a daughter."

And then I grew up. Funny how that worked out.

"And the second time?" I asked.

My mother frowned.

"When the police told us there was a very likely possibility that you were dead. If you need anything, let us know."

She grabbed the glass off my nightstand and left. I never thought I'd welcome the silence and time alone, but it felt right.

"We can't cut her off from her friends. They know her better than we do and she'll want to see them. You saw how it was in the hospital. Her boyfriend hardly left her side," my mom said from outside my door. "And she's more likely to talk to them than us."

I heard my dad sigh. "I know."


	8. Mr Purple

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: So here's a little fun fact for this chapter…this was when you were going to originally get Beck back…via video chat, so when I scrapped that idea by bringing him in early, I had to rework my entire chapter.

I feel really bad that these updates are really far apart, farther than what I usually do. This story takes a lot of me but I hope you guys enjoy this.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter.

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**Mr. Purple**

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My schedule had never been more out of whack.

In the four days that I had been out of the hospital, I had barely slept at all. The only reason that I had been sleeping was because of my stupid painkillers that caused an insane amount of drowsiness, but they didn't take away the nightmares of Trinity and Nash and Stiles. I hadn't told my parents about them. First, I didn't need them prodded into my life anymore than they already were. And number two: I was not seeing a therapist where I would have to talk about it over and over again.

So instead of mentioning it to my parents, I was texting and calling Beck almost constantly. I had reached the point where I couldn't even fall asleep unless he was on the line talking to me. Beck said he didn't mind but I was almost positive that having to call him several times throughout the night was taking a toll on him. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice when we talked in the afternoon over video chat, once I had gotten my laptop back. He'd been able to make it over to my house once since I came home and while I understood the circumstances, it just didn't seem to be enough.

I wanted him around all the time. It was more of I wanted anyone around that wasn't my parents. My friends knew me better than they did. Even Tori knew me better than my parents, which spoke volumes in my mind, considering we particularly never got along. Right now, I would consider her company just to kill the isolation that most of the day brought me.

Halfway through the day, I got a text from Cat, saying she was coming over after school. I knew Beck wasn't able to come today. It was Thursday. He had physical therapy still. He promised that it wasn't nearly bad as it sounded but since I knew of the underlying reason, it had to be bad in some essence.

As three-thirty rolled around, I could hear someone knocking downstairs and I knew it was Cat. When Cat said she wanted to do something, there were very few things that would stop her and I was not one of them. So when Cat knocked my door (she's knocked every time since I've yelled at her for barging in on Beck and I some time ago), I knew what was to come.

"Come in," I said. While I was excited to see Cat, or really anyone who wasn't my parents, I was still tired.

"Jade!" she shouted upon entering. She ran toward my bed and jumped on, dropping the small plastic gift bag she had brought with her.

"No hugs!" I groaned as she started to wrap her arms around me. I still wasn't a huge fan of physical contact. Trinity only made it worse.

Cat pulled away, obviously hurt when I saw the tears threatening to break free.

"One hug," I said. I knew it would make Cat happy and even though I was injured and the slightest moves were causing me pain, I didn't want to hurt Cat any more than she'd already gone through.

"I brought you something," she said as I forced myself to sit up a little. She sat the bag in front of me and pulled out something I never thought I'd see in my house.

"I want you to have Mr. Purple."

"Cat, you love Mr. Purple," I pointed out.

"I know but I want you to have him. He makes me feel better and I want you to feel better."

Cat's logic made absolutely no sense. And besides, Mr. Purple was Cat's favorite giraffe, and I didn't want to take him away from her.

"You didn't have a Mr. Black?" I tried.

"I thought you'd like Mr. Purple. You do wear a lot of purple too. Maybe not as much as black but still," she said.

Seeing the smile on Cat's face as I set Mr. Purple next to me made it all worth it.

"When do you get to come back to Hollywood Arts?" she asked.

"Next year."

"But we still have like a month of school left!"

"And I'm on bed rest for at least another three to four weeks, maybe longer. My mom is going to HA tomorrow to figure out with Lane and Helen and Sikowitz about what they need to do but I won't be back for the rest of the year."

"Well that sucks," she said. "So guess what?"

"What?"

"You're supposed to say guess what!"

"Guess what?" I said. Playing with Cat was a wonderful reminder of how things used to be…how I wanted things to be now.

Cat took off her sweater to show me her arms. "They're healing. The doctor said they'll scar but he gave me a special cream to rub on them to help make the scars smaller but they'll never really go away."

"Did Beck ever tell you what happened to me?" I asked. I knew Tori knew what happened to me and I knew Beck knew a lot of it as there was no way to hide it from him.

Cat shook her head. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell Cat the truth or if not knowing was better for her.

"I don't think he knows what really happened," she said softly. "Like, he worries about you, but we all do, but I don't know if he really _really _knows. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you say goodbye to Beck and not me?"

I had regretted not making Beck wake her up so I could say goodbye. Cat didn't deserve what I had done, even if was done unintentionally.

"Were you mad because I pushed you away when Robbie died?"

I brought my hands up to my face to hide the tears that were about to come out. I remembered that moment. I remembered the moment Robbie died. I remembered every single moment as if it had just happened. It was so vivid. I remembered seeing Robbie's blood behind the couch where I was forced to sit and wait for my turn with Trinity. I remembered every detail of her knife. Hell, I even remembered the bottle of the anti-bacterial soap on the back of the toilet had a rainbow kaleidoscope-esque pattern on it.

"I'm sorry! Jade, don't cry. You never cry. I'm sorry!"

"It's not like we had a choice," I whispered.

"What choice?"

I wasn't sure if wanted to tell Cat. I knew that any talk of what really happened would probably just upset her.

"Jade?"

"They said they would spare you and Beck if I went with them."

"What do you mean?"

"You and Beck are alive and safe because I stayed with them."

_And I was stupid enough to believe it._

"You saved our lives," she whispered, wrapping one arm around me and leaning against me. She grabbed Mr. Purple with her free hand and set him in my lap. "And that is exactly why you deserve Mr. Purple."


	9. The Moment Before

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: So I bet some of you are wondering what happened to Jade shortly before chapter 1 of this piece…well, I've had that answer all along, just the not the rest of the chapter.

I hope you guys like it and don't worry, it's not as graphic as chapter 4. It's not pretty but not as graphic.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter. Enjoy this while it lasts but soon I will hit chapters where previews will not be allowed anymore.

* * *

**The Moment Before**

* * *

_The edge of the knife was serrated._

"_This'll be fun," she whispered from behind me._

_I closed my eyes and allowed more tears to slide down my cheek. I knew what Trinity was about to do was going to hurt and I was terrified. Every moment was sheer terror with her but this could be the thing that killed me. This could end my life. I didn't want to die but I did at the same time. I just wanted it all to be over._

"_Don't cry. That takes the fun away," she cooed._

_I did my best to swallow my sobs. Maybe she would just do it quickly and then this would all be over. She ran the edge of the blade against my abdomen under my shirt, not hard enough to actually cut me, but with enough force that I could feel it._

"_Want it to stop?" she asked._

_I nodded my head but didn't make a sound. I was physically shaking and there wasn't anything I could do to hide it. It didn't matter anyway. Trinity seemed to take pleasure in my terror._

"_Lie down. I'll make it all go away."_

_I did as instructed, laying my arms to my sides, despite the volume of pain in my left arm. I was beyond exhausted to run or fight. I couldn't let them hurt Beck or Cat. I closed my eyes and waited. It was only a matter of moments now. I almost welcomed death at this point. It had to be better than this. It had to be better than the constant fear and torture._

"_It'll all be over in a few minutes."_

_But still, I wasn't ready to die. But I did want all this torture to be over. My eyes shot open and I gasped for air as Trinity plunged her serrated blade into my stomach and twisted it around for a moment before removing it._

"_See?" she whispered, running her hand along my cheek, "I told you it would all be over. I told you that you were going to die." _

"NO!"

I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders which immediately forced me to open my eyes to reassure myself that Trinity wasn't in front of me. But when I saw my Dad in front of me, I wasn't sure if that was any better.

"Jade, what happened?" he asked.

I was hyperventilating, which only made my ribs hurt more, but I couldn't get myself to stop. Everything felt so real. And it had happened. It was real.

"You were screaming. I could hear you all the way downstairs. What happened?" he asked again.

Still hyperventilating. Hot tears streamed down my face. Trinity's voice, even though it was a nightmare, still echoed in my ears.

"Sit up," he said but I couldn't get any part of me to move. "Jade, please. You need to calm down."

As he placed his hand near the top of my back, something in me kicked in and I swatted his hands away.

"I'll go make you some coffee," he said, sighing.

I didn't even bother to tell him two sugars as he made his way downstairs. I didn't want anything to eat or drink. I grabbed my cell phone and scrolled down to Beck's name and waited for him to pick up.

"Jade?"

"Beck," I gasped out.

"Breathe," he immediately responded.

I was trying. I couldn't get my heart to stop racing in my ears.

"Whatever it is, you're okay."

"The nightmares are getting worse, Beck," I whispered. I was still hyperventilating a little bit but I knew talking to Beck would make it better. Beck always made things better.

"Jade," he began. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. "You've got to talk to someone about her…about what happened."

I shook my head. No more reminders.

"Jade, when I come over later, can we talk?" he asked.

"I don't want to," I quietly admitted.

"Please? I hate what this is doing to you."

I sighed. I hated what it was doing to me too. I wasn't getting much sleep and I kept reliving every minute with _them_.

"Maybe," I said softly.

"Tonight. Try to get some rest, alright? I love you. I love you more than anything in the world," he said.

"I love you too."

I set my phone down and continued to take deep breaths. I knew I needed to calm down. Talking to Beck had helped a little bit. I propped myself up a little further than before so that I was sitting more against the pillows, rather than half sitting, half laying on them.

"Two sugars," my Dad said, handing me the mug of coffee upon re-entering my room. "Can we talk?"

I shook my head and set the coffee on my nightstand, next to my phone.

"Jade," he began before I shook my head again. I wasn't going to talk about it. I didn't even want to talk to Beck about it but I knew I wasn't getting out that one so easily.

* * *

I felt the bed shift as Beck sat down on the side. That action alone told me that it was late afternoon and school was out. I still hadn't moved from my bed. I wasn't sure if it was the pain of the paralyzing fear that kept me here, but I didn't want to go anywhere.

"Your mom said you haven't eaten anything since you woke up this morning from your nightmare," Beck said softly. "And your dad is really worried about you."

"It was really weird. He stayed all night. I don't think he slept."

"He's worried about you. Everyone is."

"He never has before so why start now?" I interjected.

"Because he's never almost lost you before. Jade, he may not approve of what you want to do with your life or how you dress or how you behave from time to time, but the fact is you're his daughter. You're always going to be that to him."

Beck had a point and as much as it pained me to say it, he was right. And I hated it when he was right. It wasn't that he was right, it meant I was wrong. But that didn't stop me from moving closer to him to lay part way on his lap.

"You really don't want to talk about what happened, do you?" he asked.

I shook my head. I grabbed his hand and just held it.

"I want you to stay tonight but I know my parents won't let you," I whispered.

"You don't know that for sure."

I glared at Beck. While my parents hadn't been around for a good chunk of my life, their actions, for the most part at least, were easy to read.

"You're still pretty injured, right?" Beck asked.

I didn't know where Beck was going with this.

"Well, yeah. Last I checked."

And I couldn't wait for them to heal up, just so I could get out of the house…go to Beck's RV…go to school…but mostly get out of the house. I'd spent more time here in the last few weeks that I had last semester.

"And you're not really supposed to be moving? Bed rest?"

"Beck, tell me where you're going with this."

"Well, let's say you fall asleep on me and if I move you, I could accidently hurt you and I don't think your parents would want to jeopardize your health and recovery, so they would just have to let me stay the night. Or at least we can hope they will."

"Thanks," was all I could say in response. I curled up closer to Beck and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. I didn't want to ever let him go.

"Comfy?" he asked.

"You're so good to me," I muttered.

"People do stupid things when they're in love."

"This isn't stupid. I've missed this."

Beck pushed my hair to the side, and even though that meant he would clearly see the scar on my right cheek, it didn't bother me as much. It was just a line. Albeit a permanent line, but one that I wasn't going to have to explain whenever someone new saw it.

"I can hear someone coming so you might want to pretend to be asleep," Beck said softly.

"It's not that hard," I whispered. I really was tired.

I heard my door open and I knew without even needing to look up that it was my Dad.

"Is she asleep?" he asked.

"Yeah…about ten minutes now."

"I don't want you staying the night," my dad said.

"I don't think moving her would be really wise though," he argued softly. "I don't want to hurt her."

I heard my Dad sigh and I smiled to myself. I loved how Beck's plan was working.

"Alright. You can stay but don't do anything."

"Yes, sir. I mean, no. Um…"

"I know what you mean, just take care of her."


	10. Video Chat

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: So there's this tiny section in here that was in _Survive_ but it didn't fit with the chapter, so I put in here.

I'm really sorry these are taking so long to get out. Right now, you're probably going to be getting updates 2 to 3 times a month.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter. Enjoy this while it lasts but soon I will hit chapters where previews will not be allowed anymore.

* * *

**Video Chat**

* * *

"He's gone," Beck whispered.

I didn't move. I was perfectly content with my arms wrapped around Beck's waist.

"Jade, come on. We really need to talk, alright?"

"About my nightmares?" I muttered.

"Just you in general. I didn't mention your nightmares. We all know you're having them."

I sat up, holding my side as most everything still hurt, and looked at Beck. I could finally see his eyes. They were full of worry and sadness. He kissed my forehead and his touch made me relax…made me feel a little better about the whole situation I was in.

"Even Cat?" I asked.

Beck nodded his head and moved closer to me. "She's had nightmares too and so have I. Jade, I may not know exactly what you went through and I'm not going to pretend that I do. But I know that the nightmares have to be tearing you apart on the inside and I hate that because you deserve so much better."

He reached forward and placed his hand on my back, exactly where _it_ was most evident, despite the number of warnings I had already given him.

"Don't touch my back."

He pulled his hand back. The less time he had to figure out what was on my back, the better.

"What's on your back? Jade, you've always let me rub your back when you're upset and now you won't let me touch it at all."

"No," I said sharply.

"Alright. Answer me this then: what's on your back, is it worse than what they did to Cat? To me?"

I turned away from Beck. I didn't want to see his reaction when I nodded my head. I knew in time, he would eventually find out. But right now, I didn't want him to.

"I love you," he said.

I turned back toward him and laid on his chest. "I know."

* * *

Beck's phone began beeping. I had only heard it beep before when he set an alarm. I looked at my phone: it was almost midnight. He grabbed his Pearbook from his bag and set it on my bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Videochatting?"

"We're videochatting?"

"With everyone."

"Why?"

Beck sighed. "I don't think you realize how much support you have and you need to."

He logged onto his computer, which I could have just as easily done since I knew his password and pulled up the videochat. A minute later, Cat, André, and Tori popped on Beck's screen.

"You had this planned, didn't you?" I asked.

"Did it today at lunch."

"You still have Mr. Purple?" Cat immediately asked.

I smiled and grabbed him to show Cat that I did still indeed have Mr. Purple.

"Cat gave you Mr. Purple?" Tori asked. "Cat, that's so sweet!"

"She deserves him."

"So how are you hanging in there, Jade?" André asked.

I shrugged my shoulders as Beck kissed the side of my head.

"Aww, you guys are so sweet together!" Cat squealed.

"I guess I'm doing okay," I said. I was doing better than I was a few weeks ago, so that had to count for something.

"André! There's another me on the wall!"

"Just introduce yourself Grandma! I'm sure she's nice!" he called back.

"Did they change your grandma's medication again?" Tori asked.

André nodded his head. "Third time in the last month."

"I could swear we had this conversation before."

"It ended with your grandma punching your webcam," Beck said.

"And where was I?" I asked.

"Making your way over to my RV to deal with the _cheerleader._"

"One time, my brother met this cheerleader," Cat began. "He started biting her."

"Biting her?" André asked.

"Yeah. She had to get stitches."

"Tori, are you talking to Beck?"

I groaned. I did not want to deal with Trina, especially after my last encounter with her.

"Trina, what are you doing?!" Tori shouted as she was pushed away from her computer.

"Hi, Beck," Trina said.

"Bye!" I shouted, shutting his laptop down. I wasn't going to even tolerate Trina hitting on Beck. Beck was mine.

"I did not mean for that to happen," he said.

"It's fine."

"You're never fine when someone else tries to hit on me."

"You know, you never answered my question about why you didn't open the door that night," I pointed out. Even though it had been over a month since I asked, I still wanted to know the answer.

"It was a stupid mistake. I was standing by it too as you counted. I guess I was really angry at you and I let that take control. I know I hurt you and I really am sorry about it."

"This is all my fault anyway," I whispered.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is! It is my fault. If we weren't fighting with each other, we never would have broken up and then I wouldn't have invited myself to dog-sit with Cat and accidently have Elvis's guitar smash through the window. And then we wouldn't have had to call you and Robbie to help and we never would have been kidnapped and Robbie wouldn't have died and…it's all my fault, Beck."

"Think of it like this: even if we had stayed together, Cat still have dog-sat, and those people would have taken her and she's probably wouldn't be here at all."

"So what: we trade one friend for another? How is that fair to any of us? It doesn't really matter though, does it? Robbie's dead and there's nothing that'll change that."

"You and Robbie weren't ever friends," Beck pointed out.

"That doesn't mean I wanted him to die."

"No one did and no one blames you for his death, okay?"

I knew Robbie's death wasn't my fault. There wasn't anything I could do to stop it. When I saw the damage, I knew it was only a matter of minutes and we tried to prolong it as long as we could.

"I'm hungry," I said. I could feel my stomach rumbling.

"It's about time. What are you in the mood for?"

"Meatballs. I haven't been able to get my mind off them since Robbie mentioned them to Cat."

"That's what Cat and I ate the night of Robbie's funeral. She had asked if Robbie was eating meatballs in heaven."

"Will you get me some meatballs?"

"Sure."


	11. Marked

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: For those of you who want Jade to tell her friends exactly what she went through…it doesn't work like that. Jade is still dealing with the aftermath of her ordeal, and talking about it, means (at least in her mind) that she's reliving it and that's the last thing she wants.

Jade is a very strong, defiant, and (occasionally) stubborn character and she doesn't want to be perceived as anything less now that's out of the hospital. In time, she'll open up. Whether or not that will happen in _Rekindle_, I don't know yet.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter. I think you've got three more chapters to get previews with.

* * *

**Marked**

* * *

"Jade West."

After waiting for nearly thirty minutes in the waiting room of the doctor's office, surrounded by people with diseases that must have surely been unknown to man, it was my turn to face my maker. I already knew that I was going to get poked and prodded, which I wasn't looking forward to in the least.

It had been two weeks since I'd been out of the hospital, equaling up to a month that I'd been back and I felt like I was getting nowhere. I mean, I was healing but I still couldn't really do anything. I was healing, which was a good thing, but it wasn't fast enough. I could see it all and I could still feel most of it.

"I'll take it from here. Follow me," a woman said. She was tall, dark skin and dark hair. Doctor, obviously, with how she commanded herself.

"And you are?" I asked.

"I'm Dr. Kendrick. How are you feeling?" she asked as we walked.

I rolled my eyes. "I've been cooped to a bed for a month."

"I can't imagine that's very enjoyable. Let's take you down to get some x-rays and we'll see how you're doing."

* * *

"Here are the x-rays," the nurse said, handing the file to Dr. Kendrick.

I sat on the patient table as Dr. Kendrick started to examine the x-rays. I had sent a text off to Beck and was waiting for a response. I knew he was at physical therapy; it was Thursday, but I sent the text anyway because I knew he would text me back. We tried to keep contact whenever we could. He was the only one who remotely understood what I was going through.

"Your arm isn't as far along as I had hoped. Only one of your four fractures is healing. The others aren't making progress."

"So it's basically not doing anything," I said.

"Your ribs however, are doing better. They're healing. They're not finished by any means but they're definitely going in the right direction. Do they still hurt from time to time?"

"Now and then but not constantly. I don't need the painkillers as often."

"Well, if you're not in a great deal of pain and since your ribs are healing up, I don't see why we can't take you off bedrest for a little while each day. But don't overdo yourself. You know where your limits are. If I think you're overdoing it the next time I see you, I'll have to put you back on bedrest, alright?"

I nodded my head. I wasn't completely free but not having to stay in bed all the time was a start.

"We still need you to tell us about the markings on your back," she said, pulling me out my temporary moment of happiness.

I shook my head. It was a part of my past now and that's how I needed to keep it. She pulled out a picture from my file and showed it to me. I quickly turned away. I knew what my back looked like. I didn't need to see a picture and be reminded even further.

"Jade, it honestly looks like someone took a knife to your back and tried to cut you open."

_Not exactly._

"Am I done?" I whispered. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to relive it. I just wanted it to go away.

"You need to tell us what happened. Please?"

"Can I go?"

"You're not going to tell me a thing, are you?" she asked.

I didn't even bother to answer her question. I had made up my mind. What happened between Trinity and I was going to stay that way.

"You know we're only trying to help you."

"Well, you can't."

_It's my fault anyway._

* * *

"Jade, you've got to talk to someone. Please?" my mother said. This was only the eighth time she had brought up my reluctance to talk about what happened while I was gone.

"Look! If I wanted to talk about it, I would! But I don't!" I snapped.

"Jade-"

"No!"

When we pulled back into the driveway, I saw Tori, Cat, and André on my doorstep. I took my time getting out of the car, mostly so I wouldn't overdo it and be forced back onto bedrest.

"We thought you could use some company, seeing that Beck has physical therapy and he can't be here," Cat said as I approached the door.

"You look like you need some friends," Tori added.

"Always."

I led them inside to my living room and sat on the pale blue couch, since I now had the freedom to not be practically imprisoned in my room.

"This room looks so…normal," André commented.

"It's not my room. It's my mom's décor."

"So where were you? We thought you were like…grounded," Cat asked.

"I had to go back to the doctor. It sucked," I commented.

"But you're getting better, right?"

I rolled my eyes. The only good thing that came out of that doctor's visit was being told that I wasn't on bed rest constantly. Not much, but a start.

"Right?" Cat asked.

"My ribs are healing, so yeah."

"And soon you'll be back to normal, well, as normal as…I should shut up," André said.

"Good call," Tori stated, patting him on the back.

"Tori, I never got to thank you," I began.

"For what?" André asked.

"For taking her to the hospital that night," she said. Apparently, Tori did know what I was going to talk about.

"You saved my life," I whispered. "I don't know how to thank you."

"Honestly Jade, if I showed up at your house in the same predicament, I know you won't say it but you'd take me to the emergency room too. I told you that I wasn't going to sit there and let you bleed."

"You remember that still?"

"I'd never seen you like that."

"I still feel like that," I finally said.

It took a lot for me to show any sort of weakness but after they all saw me in the hospital, I'm sure nothing really surprised them anymore about me. Tori had seen me at what was probably my absolute lowest when I almost begged her to stay in the hospital room with me because I was too afraid to be alone.

"Seriously though, thank you," I said.

Tori made her way over next to me and hugged me. Under any other circumstances, I would have shoved her to the floor but I owed her so much more than that.

"Okay, Vega, let go," I ordered as pain started to hit my side again.

"Did I hurt you?! Jade, I'm so sorry!" she said, panicking.

I scooted back so I could lie on the couch. Lying down always made the pain slightly more manageable.

"Jade? I thought you said you were off bedrest?" André asked. "So why are you lying down?"

"Just because the doctor temporarily removed me from constant bedrest doesn't mean I'm completely healed up. It'll probably be another month or so for my ribs. Maybe longer. In the kitchen are all my medications. One of the bottles has a P written on top of it. I need two and a glass of water."

"Sure."

"And then you can come back to Hollywood Arts when you heal all up!" Cat shouted.

I smiled at Cat. Even after this ordeal, she still somehow remained optimistic. I'm sure she had her moments but seeing Cat how she was before…in a way, it let me know that things were going to be okay. That they were going to get better.

"You seem to be doing alright," I said.

"Yeah! Look! You can barely see them now!" Cat practically shouted, shoving her arm in my face.

I could still see the faint marks where the burns used to be. Then I noticed the design which had never caught my eye before. The way they crisscrossed each other…it was the same design on my back.

Trinity was marking us.


	12. Sick

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I had wanted to do a chapter like this for a long time but I wasn't quite ready to stumble into the twist that you all know is coming. You didn't think I would keep it tame forever, did you?

You guys probably are noticing a pattern in my writing: when I give you guys a really nice chapter, I tend to crush you either later in that chapter or in the chapter after that. I promise I won't intentionally destroy you next chapter, but probably in the one after that.

Enjoy the fluff. It was so much fun to write.

Reviews earn the reviewer a preview of the next chapter. (Last time in _Rekindle_.)

I am sorry to say (and I debated over this for quite a few hours) that this is the last chapter in which you will receive a preview for reviewing. I'm fairly sure you can figure out why you read the next chapter, if not, then the chapter after that.

* * *

**Sick**

* * *

"One hundred and two point seven. Jade, I've got to take you back to the doctor."

I shook my head.

"It looks like you have the flu and we need to get you on antibiotics. Get dressed."

"No!" I groaned. "I don't have the flu!"

"Jade," my mother began again.

"Look! If I still feel like this on Monday, you can take me to the doctor. Don't you have to worry about some stupid presentation you're missing because I can't be left alone?"

With no word on Trinity, The FBI didn't want me left alone, especially since Trinity thought I was dead. They had even warned Beck and Cat to stay vigilant and aware as to what was around them.

"I'll figure it out. Beck is coming over later because you know he won't stay away so why don't you get some sleep. You might feel better."

I rolled my eyes as let my head fall back on my pillow and curled into my side. Whatever I had was beating me and it absolutely sucked.

* * *

"Knock knock. I hear you don't feel good," Beck said as he made his way into my room. "What's going on?"

"My Mom thinks I've got the flu," I mumbled. "And she's got a meeting she can't get out of and my dad and stepmom are out of town on some stupid meeting for something else."

"You never leave this house. How did you catch the flu?"

"Well, I did go back to the doctor yesterday. Maybe there."

"Then I guess I need to stay the weekend and take care of you."

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah. Besides, it would be nice to get some time with you without one of your parents listening in. I know they're doing it."

"Then you better go tell my Mom that she can catch her red-eye flight," I muttered. I grabbed my scissor shaped pillow and buried my face in it. I felt like crap. I finally got the best news of not having to be stuck in bed and that's all I seemed to be doing today.

Shortly after Beck left, my stomach started churning again. I covered my mouth and ran into the bathroom, just barely making it in time before the lack of food mixed with acid made its way up my throat and into the toilet.

"Jade!"

I felt Beck pull my hair back and away from my face as I continued to vomit.

"Better?" he asked when I finished.

"You try vomiting with broken ribs and see how you feel," I groaned. This was not helping the healing process and I did not want to get put back on bedrest.

"You just can't seem to catch a break, huh?" he joked.

"You're being mean to me," I whined.

"It's your hair and everything," he laughed. "Oh god, I'm holding it!"

"It's not funny. It's disgusting. And horrible," I moaned.

Beck shook his head. "I'll be right back."

I leaned against the cool porcelain of the bathtub and I tried to get my stomach to calm down. When Beck came back in, he made his over to the sink and turned the water on.

"This should help a little," he said softly. He started to clean out the tiny bits of vomit left in my hair with a cold washcloth. He handed then a washcloth to me and I stared at him.

"That better not be the one you used on my hair," I warned.

"It's not. I grabbed two."

After looking at to make sure they wasn't anything on it, I began to wipe down my face. The cold water made me feel a little better but didn't take all the misery away.

"Jade, are you alright?" I heard my mom ask.

"It's gonna be fine," Beck whispered to me. "She's fine!"

"I'll be home on Sunday! Beck will be here the whole time."

"Go!" I weakly shouted.

"Do you want to take a shower?" he asked. "That usually makes you feel better when you're sick."

I shook my head. "I just want to lie the couch with a movie. Please?"

"Let me guess: _The Scissoring_?"

"Did you expect me to say something with rainbow in the title?"

Beck smiled and despite how horrible I felt, I still smiled. Beck brought out the best in me.

"Come on," he said, holding his hand out to help me up.

We made our way downstairs and I immediately grabbed the throw pillows that were lying on the couch and used them to prop myself up a little on the couch while Beck set up the movie.

"Sit up," he said. He pushed the pillows up with me and proceeded to sit behind me, allowing me to lay with him.

"You're gonna get sick if you around me this much," I pointed out.

"I'm okay with that," he replied.

"I'm not. You won't be able to visit me."

"Do you want me to leave then? So I won't get sick?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Besides, if we're both sick, there's no reason we can't be in the same room."

I was half tempted to find a way to make him sick, just so he could hold true to his word. But if he felt like shit, he wasn't going to be able to take care of me. And even though I never said it: I really did like it when Beck took care of me.

"Are you really sure you want to be lying with me right now though?" I asked.

"Well, considering that there are two pillows between us, I think I'll be okay. Are you comfy?"

"A little cold."

Beck grabbed the throw off the back of the couch and draped it over me, only allowing my head to remain uncovered.

"That should make Jadey feel better," he said as he stroked my cheek gently.

"Only Cat's allowed to call me that!" I shouted.

"Shh, Jadey."

"Now you're just doing it out of spite," I muttered.

"Yeah, now watch the movie, okay?"

Beck grabbed the remote off the arm of the couch as his cell phone rang. I was quick to make my displeasure noticeable. All I wanted was some alone with Beck and I couldn't even get that right now.

"Who's calling?" I asked.

"Your mom. One of the conditions of me staying the weekend to take care of you. Both of your parents get to call and check in however often they want. At least it's a little less invasive than them barging in."

"Not really," I mumbled.

"She's fine. She's watching a movie on the couch…_The Scissoring_, what else?"

I grabbed the phone from Beck. "I'm fine! Bye!"

"What was that about?" Beck asked.

"They won't leave me alone," I moaned. "I just want to spend time with you. They constantly want me to talk about it and I…I don't want to. Remembering it is bad enough. I don't need to relive too."

* * *

I couldn't stop yawning as I watched the multitude of scissors murders that Tawny committed. I should have been freaked out because they did remember me of Trinity but I wasn't going to let ruin my favorite movie of all time because of that. She did them because she could. Tawny's were an act of revenge. Trinity wasn't about revenge. She was about sadism.

"Let's get you in bed," he said.

"No! I'm not on bedrest anymore!" I whined. After being cooped to a bed for a month, I had absolutely no desire to spend any time in my room anymore.

"Jade, if you're this tired, you should be in bed," Beck argued with me. "Come on."

"Carry me," I said. I wasn't budging on my own accord.

Beck laughed. "I'm not carrying you."

"Well, I'm not getting up," I countered. "If you want me in bed, you're gonna have to take me."

"Alright then," he said.

He gently pushed me up so he could get out from behind me before picking me up.

"Put me down!" I shouted. "I'm not joking, Oliver! Right now!"

If there was one thing I learned about Beck from dating him, it was that he would do whatever was best for me, even if I completely disagreed with it.

"I didn't think you'd actually take me seriously!" I shouted when I saw he had made his way back into my bedroom.

"You weren't? Whoops."

I half expected Beck to drop me onto the bed like he used to do but when he pulled back the blanket and set me down gently, I was surprised. Then I remembered that I had three broken ribs and he didn't want to injure me anymore. As he covered me with the blanket, he got into bed next to me and wrapped his arm around me.

"It's a good thing I love you," I said. "Otherwise I'd never let you get away with what you just did."

"I'll never stop loving you, Jade. Never."


	13. The Dangerous Calm

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I had thought of posting this as like a deleted scene but I'm sure that many of you were wondering how that scene went down with Jade. I also needed a way to figure out how to connect the next chapter in.

Lately, I've been thinking of writing _Broken_ in Jade's POV. If you get a chance, please cast your vote on the poll on my profile. I'm really in the air about it but if you guys want it, I'll do it. Think of this chapter as a bit of preview of what might be to come.

Remember, I can't give out previews anymore but I still very desperately want to know what you guys think. Believe it or not, it actually helps to shape the story. (Example: you guys **BEGGED **for Jade in Broken and you got her…_technically_.)

* * *

**The Dangerous Calm**

* * *

"_I'm getting bored with her," I heard Trinity say from outside my room. "She doesn't scream or cry like she used to. It's not as much fun now."_

_Of course it's not fun. You're killing me, little by little. Just kill me and get it over with. I couldn't take it anymore. I wiped away the tears with the dark purple long sleeved shirt as I brought my knees to my chest. Even being with them for twenty–seven days, I still didn't know why they had taken us or why I had been singled out._

_Maybe I was their target all along._

_I wasn't even sure why they forced me to make the decision that took me away from Beck and Cat. They would have done this to me either way, I'm sure. _

"_Are you sure?" Nash asked._

"_Yeah. We'll find new ones…we always do," she whispered. "I suppose I should be a little nicer to her today. Let her do something she wants for once…before…well, you know…"_

_I was almost positive I knew what was going to happen._

"_You're going to die today," she announced upon entering, confirming my worst fear. _

_I both wanted to hear and feared those words. It was weird in a way. I didn't want to die; I didn't want them to go after Beck and Cat, which I overheard them talking about last night. They still made threats over them and I never figured out if they were real threats, or if they were using them to keep me in line. But knowing how screwed up these people were, I couldn't help but worry that those threats were real. After last night, they had to be real._

"_I'll be nice and I won't do anything…right now at least. So this is what I'm going to do," she began. She threw a towel at me. "We're going to get coffee and I'll let you enjoy that. But if you say one word…to anyone…"_

_She kneeled down in front of me and grabbed my chin. "I know exactly where they live and I will not hesitate to go after them if you get out of line. Have I made myself clear?"_

_I nodded my head, not trusting myself to speak to her anymore. She pulled a key from her back pocket and unlocked the cuff around my ankle._

"_Let's go."_

_She led me down the hall and into the bathroom. Her demeanor was calmer than it usually was, but I could tell she was holding something back. _

"_I'm leaving in thirty minutes. There's a timer on the sink to help you keep track. I suggest you keep an eye on it."_

_I knew the bathroom door didn't have a lock but I knew attempting to run would only result in trouble. Where was I supposed to go? There were three of them and one of me and I didn't know anything about where I was. Fighting them at this point was futile at best._

_As I turned on the shower and stripped out of my clothes, I almost didn't recognize myself beneath all the cuts and bruises and burns. I knew it was me but I didn't look like myself. I didn't even feel like myself anymore. _

_The water stung for a moment when it hit my back and forearm and into all the crevices of Trinity's design before relief started to wash over me. Then reality started to hit me: I was going to die. They were going to kill me. I should have expected it but knowing that I would never see my friends, or even my family, ever again…_

_I'd never be able to hear Cat tell me another stupid story about her stupid brother._

_I'd never be able to tell Beck how much I loved him._

_Or hear his voice…_

_Or kiss him…_

_That realization made me completely break down in tears. I was so mean to him after we broke up and the two and a half days we had back together weren't enough to make up for that. He didn't deserve what I did. He didn't deserve to be walked out on. He didn't deserve the torture he had to be enduring by me staying with Trinity to save his life._

_With only four minutes left on the timer, I turned the shower off and dried off my body before slipping back into the clothes I was wearing earlier. I had no intentions of pushing my luck with Trinity. As the timer ran out, Trinity made her way and I was glad I finished early because she left no room for error. She looked at me for a moment before nodding her head._

"_Keep your hair down and don't make eye contact with anybody. Are we clear?"_

_I nodded my head._

"_And you will not talk to anyone either."_

_Again, I nodded my head. _

"_Good. Get in the car."_

* * *

_I had tried to think of every plan I could to figure out a way out of the mess I had gotten myself into by agreeing to stay with Trinity, Nash, and Stiles. But somehow, Trinity seemed to be a whole step ahead of me. _

_Trinity had made it expressively clear that I wasn't to speak when she handed me my drink and started to make my way over to the fixings bar. I knew not to double crossed or even play around with the fact but I didn't want Beck near her. The only way I knew of to keep Beck safe was to push him away so Trinity couldn't get to him._

_Then I realized that I could make Beck notice me without saying anything. I knew it was risky but…staying with Trinity was worse. I loosened the lid of my coffee and turned so I would immediately be forced to bump into Beck and he would have to notice me. I had one chance to get this right and even though I knew I was going to have to deny that it was me, deep down I knew Beck would fight for me. _

_Beck wasn't going to give me up without a fight. He didn't want to the night I made him count to ten and I truly doubted that he would now._

_I grabbed my coffee and turned swiftly, giving no notice as to what I was about to do. Beck was right beside me and while the coffee didn't land on him, he definitely made notice of its presence._

"_I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to," he said._

_I turned away, hoping he would see the faint green streaks that were in my hair. They should have been a dead giveaway, even though I was about to push him away. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Trinity taking her drink from the barista._

"_Just go," I whispered. I didn't want Trinity to see him. I couldn't let Trinity know he was here._

"_Are you sure? I can buy you another coffee."_

"_No, it's…just…"_

"_Jade?"_

_I grasped my half spilt coffee as tightly as I could. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs what was going on but I couldn't risk Beck's and Cat's lives to do that. I knew Trinity wouldn't hesitate to kill them. She had told me, in great detail, exactly how she killed Robbie and some of the plans she had on killing me. And there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. That's what I hated the most. I couldn't control anything. I had no power. But Beck…I could make sure Trinity didn't get him…right now. I had that power._

_With a heavy heart and a sob stuck in my throat, I said the two most painful words: "Please, go."_

"_Is he bothering you?"_

_I lowered my head even further and bit my lip. I knew if I said anything…I didn't even want to put that idea in my head._

"_We're fine and we'd like to be left alone," Trinity said. _

_She forced herself between Beck and I. I don't know how Beck didn't realize it was Trinity because I was never going to forget her. How could Beck not know who she was when you called my name and saw me physically react? I was right there in front of you! Why didn't you fight harder?! Why did you walk away and leave me to that monster who was going to murder? How could you do that?!_

_Then I realized that Cat was with him. If he couldn't fight for me, at least he would fight for Cat. He had promised that and it looked like he had kept it so far. At least Cat would be safe in the end because I knew Beck would never let anything happen to her._

"_Take your coffee and go sit down at the table in the corner back there. Now," Trinity quietly ordered._

_I wanted to cry as I walked over to that table. Beck didn't notice. He didn't do it. He didn't fight for me._

_He didn't save me._

_Trinity sat down next to me, effectively preventing me from getting up since I would have had to almost push past her to go anywhere. And if I tried that, she would just murder me then._

"_You spoke to him, didn't you?" she asked softly._

_I knew better than to lie to Trinity. She always found the smallest ways to hurt me and I didn't want to give her any reason to inflict more pain that she already had. I nodded my head._

"_I'll deal with later," she said, taking a sip of her double caramel macchiato. _

"_He doesn't know it's me," I softly argued._

"_I don't care. I gave you a rule and you broke it."_

_I felt horrible that I had to push Beck away and watching him walk out of the shop broke me even more. I was never going to see him again and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I let the first of many salty tears fall down my cheeks when Cat left, scon in hand. I was now left alone with my worst nightmare with my worst fear coming to life, or maybe death since I was going to die, in just a few short hours._

_And I wasn't even sure if my death would keep Beck and Cat safe._


	14. Lilac

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I am so excited about the end of this chapter…not sure if you guys will be but…hmm…

* * *

**Lilac**

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey," Beck said, "calm down. You're okay. You're safe."

I forced myself to take several deep breaths and only after I calmed down a little did Beck start to relax his constricted arms.

"I'm alright," I finally said.

"Did you know you were screaming half the night?" he asked.

I shook my head but I wasn't surprised.

"I tried to wake you up too, and then you hit me in the face. I forgot how hard you could hit."

"Not funny."

"Are the nightmares getting worse?" he asked.

I couldn't lie to Beck. He could read me like an open book and if I lied to him, it would only result in an argument of why I was lying and what was I not telling him.

"They vary night to night," I finally said. It was honest.

"You know, about a week after we got out, Cat and I were getting coffee and I got her mocha, and Cat was almost positive she saw Trinity," Beck said.

I couldn't help but shudder at her name. I took a deep breath and curled up tighter to Beck. "It probably was her. Every day, she would leave for a little while to get a caramel macchiato. Sometimes, she would even send one of the guys to do it. I hated every minute with them, Beck. I really did."

"You know you're going to have to talk about it eventually, right?" he asked.

"Why?" I asked. "They don't know what she's like…what she can do…"

"And I do? Is that why you only talk to me about it?"

I sat up and let my legs dangle over the edge of my bed. I didn't understand why everyone wanted to know what that psycho put me through when I just wanted to move on. We sat in silence for a good five minutes before Beck wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. I still didn't like a lot of physical contact, and even though it was just Beck, I wasn't ready to how we used to be.

"I'm sorry. I should know better than to push you. Do you think you can handle some chicken noodle soup?" he asked.

"Can we start with toast? I really don't want to spend today vomiting."

Beck smiled and half-hugged me. "Sure. I'll bring it up to you."

"Thanks."

I rolled over in bed. At least I was feeling a little bit better than yesterday. I wasn't sure if I had the flu or just a really bad twenty-four hour bug. But since Beck was taking care of me, I didn't care. I loved having alone time with him.

"Toast…and I even made sure not to burn it," he said. "Your dad will be home in a few hours by the way."

"He will?" I asked, taking a bite of the toast. Beck knew how to make the best toast. Beck knew how to make the best _everything_.

"He sent me a message this morning. Are you feeling any better from yesterday or still just as bad?"

"A little. Just tired."

"Well, you were thrashing around a lot. Maybe you should get a little more sleep. I'll be right here."

"Beck?"

"Yeah?"

"The nightmares aren't as bad with you around."

"Hopefully you won't have any at all soon," he whispered as I laid down and he covered me with the blanket. "You deserve so much better."

* * *

I woke up to the sound of Beck and my Dad fighting, or at least yelling at each other.

"You don't know what they did to us in those four days that we were gone. They had her for another month. Just her! Who knows what they did to her in that time! You can't get upset at any kind of reaction she has!"

They didn't know what I went through. Beck thought it was bad the few days they had us but was nothing. We had it easy. _I_ had it easy then. I couldn't even begin to list the words that described what I went through.

"She's lucky she's alive right now!"

I pulled backed the blankets and got out of bed. Screw the doctor's orders of taking it easy and not overdoing it. If I didn't get out of this house and away from all this fighting, I was going to go insane. I was barely holding on to my sanity as it was.

I instantly started to look around for something that looked like me that wouldn't be difficult to put on. I had been wearing sweats and a tank top over the last day and a half and there was no way I was going out in public wearing that. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and one of my long sleeved black blouses and quickly changed into them.

Beck's car keys were on my dresser and I grabbed them, along with my purse. It wasn't like I hadn't taken Beck's car keys before but I had never actually taken his car before but it wasn't as if I could sneak downstairs and grab mine.

From the echoes that were permeating the house, I could tell that Beck and my Dad were in my mom's office, leaving the front door completely unguarded and available to leave though. So that's exactly what I did: exit through the front door, _borrow_ Beck's car, and made my way to the nearest Jet Brew.

I felt myself relax as I inhaled the scent of coffee beans when I entered. The only thing that didn't seem in place was the scent of lilac but someone must have overdone their perfume. I ignored it and made my way to the counter, where a lone barista was on duty.

"Small black coffee," I ordered.

"Black?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Did I stutter? Black."

It should have been the simplest coffee order in the world. Just pour some coffee in the cup and give it to me. Yet, it took the barista nearly five minutes to hand me my order. I grabbed it and headed over to the fixings bar to grab my two sugars.

"I thought you were dead."

I froze, my heart stopped, and my breathing hitched. I knew that voice and I was never going to forget it. I turned around slowly, hoping that it was my mind playing some sick, cruel joke that was a side effect from all the medication I'd been on.

But when I came face to face with Trinity, her arms crossed over her chest and a lilac tucked in her hair behind her ear, I knew it wasn't.

It was real.


	15. Coffee and Macchiato

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: Will this chapter be what you expect?

* * *

**Coffee and Macchiato**

* * *

The worst thing about Trinity: she blends in with society. She doesn't look threatening at first glance. But being alone with her was the most dangerous thing in the world.

"Come sit," she said. I knew better than to argue with her. She gestured to a table in the back corner, away from almost everyone, isolated from the rest of the shop, exactly where we were the last time I was here. I wanted to throw up at the sheer thought of having to be alone with this woman…again.

"It wasn't a suggestion, _Jade_. Sit," she ordered.

I looked up and saw Nash and Stiles on the other side of the shop, keeping a close eye on me.

"Don't make me repeat myself."

While she didn't say it directly, I knew Trinity was threatening me. As I sat down, I pulled my phone out my pocket and sent a quick text message to Beck when Trinity wasn't looking. I needed him. Anybody really but I knew Beck would check his messages the second he heard the beep go off.

"I'll let you sit and enjoy your coffee and when you're done, you're coming with me," Trinity stated. "It's as simple as that."

"I'll make a scene," I weakly threaten. I didn't know how I'd be able to but I needed to try to buy as much time as I could.

"I'd like that. I told you that I liked your feistiness," she replied. "It's a shame that you started to lose it but now that you've had a taste of freedom, maybe it'll come back."

I couldn't get my heart to stop racing. I knew that I couldn't run. I wouldn't be able to get anywhere; Trinity would make sure of that.

"Give me your phone, Jade," she ordered.

I shook my head. She took another sip of her drink, which I assumed to be a caramel macchiato because that's all she ever ordered, and pulled out her phone. "Go get Valentine. I'm not playing this game with her."

"How do you know Cat's last name?"

"Give me your phone and I'll tell you. Their fate is only one phone call away…Beck's too. Don't think for a moment that I haven't been keeping an eye on them."

I hated how Trinity was able to keep me in line by threatening the two people that I cared about the most.

"Now."

I didn't see another choice. I couldn't give her a reason to hurt Beck or Cat. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and placed it on the table. My only hope of was practically out of my reach. Trinity wasn't going to let me make a phone call. I just desperately hoped that Beck got my message.

"Relax, you can enjoy your coffee. I know you like it," she said.

"How do you know what Cat's last name is?" I asked.

"You don't think I don't do research on you guys. I'd had my eye on your for a few months. The boys just added a bonus. You and Cat…"

She set down her drink and glanced over her shoulder before nodding her head.

"I'd been wondering why those friends of yours kept going to your house though," she continued.

"You've been watching my house?" I asked. It hit me that everyone I had come in contact with was in danger…they were in danger because I was alive.

"Off and on. I like seeing what my damage does. But I was so sure I had killed you. Why don't you tell me how you survived?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I'd like to make sure it doesn't happen again," she said. She leaned closer toward me. "You weren't meant to survive."

I knew that. I knew Trinity had every intention of killing me, even more so now that she knew I was alive. I knew she would make it painful, she would make me suffer.

"You won't," she said, almost as if she knew what I was thinking. She probably did. She always seemed to be a step ahead of me.

My phone started beeping, indicating that I had a text message. Trinity immediately demanded that I unlock the phone so she could read it.

"That's an interesting text," she said. I knew it had to be from Beck.

She grabbed my hand and placed my phone in it. "Text him back and tell him you're fine. I'll be reading the message before you send it."

I had to think of something that sounded completely unlike but something that Trinity wouldn't pick up on. After a moment, I need how to get his attention:

_Just stressed. Having a rainbow coffee. Back later._

"A rainbow coffee?" Trinity asked as she read over my message.

"It's a joke between us. Um…he knows if I say it, he needs to stay the hell away from me," I justified. I knew it was a lie but Trinity didn't need to know that. And if it kept me alive…it was worth it.

"Are you almost done with your coffee?" she asked, hitting send on my phone and placing it on the table. I shook my head and she rolled her eyes. "Hurry up. I'm leaving in five minutes, whether you're finished or not."

Five minutes wasn't a lot of time, especially since it took eight minutes to drive to this particular location of Jet Brew. Maybe Beck knew me well enough that he was already on his way. I could only buy time at this point and if Beck didn't make it in time, I would have to fight her. I knew I wasn't up to par to fight her, not in my current state, but I couldn't let her take me again.

"You still haven't told me how you're alive," she said.

"No," I said softly. If I told her, she would find a way to make sure I was dead. How I survived last time was a miracle. I took another sip of coffee, which had grown a bit cold at this point but as long as Trinity thought I was drinking it, she would let me stay here for a few minutes. And right now, every minute counted.

"Get up. We're leaving."

"No," I said.

"Excuse me?"

I shouldn't have said that, even though I was trying to convince myself that I was just buying time. I didn't get up. If I didn't get up, a scene would be inevitable and someone would have to notice. Then I noticed my dad's car pulling up and Beck running inside.

"Get away from her," Beck growled.

I stood up and backed up toward him. He wrapped his arms around me protectively, but that didn't put me at ease at all. I was still face to face with Trinity. Her presence alone put me on edge.

"I'll get you out of here. I promise," he whispered into my ear.

Trinity stood up and stepped toward Beck. To my surprise, he didn't move or flinch or anything.

"Leave her alone. You've done enough damage," he said. His voice was calm and even, completely unlike mine.

"We were just talking," she replied, almost politely. I looked down and shook my head. Beck's arms grew tighter around me.

"Call 911," Beck whispered.

"She's got my phone. I can't."

"Go outside. Your dad's by the car. Get in it."

"They're all here," I shakily whispered. "Beck."

Trinity grabbed my arm, her nails digging into my skin.

"We're not finished by the way," she said.

"Get your hands off her," Beck growled out.

Trinity let go of me and moved closer to Beck. I couldn't get my heart to stop racing. I didn't want Beck to get hurt.

"You couldn't do anything when I killed Robbie. What makes you think you can do something now?" she whispered softly.

"You're not taking her away from us. I won't let you."

Trinity smiled and Beck tightened his arms around me.

"We'll see," she said.

Her remark caused a whole new state of panic in my body. While she didn't say it, she was threatening me.

"We're going to walk outside and you're going to get in your Dad's car. Don't say anything, just walk," Beck whispered.

I nodded my head and began to walk outside with Beck's hand in mine. I needed to know he was there.

"Jade?" my Dad asked as I got in the backseat.

"She's back," Beck said. "The woman who had us, she's back."

"She…they…Beck," I whimpered. I felt so out of control. I felt like I was already back with them.

"They won't hurt you, Jade. They can't. Not now and not ever again," Beck told me fiercely. I wanted to believe him. I wanted so desperately to believe him but I couldn't. I knew what Trinity could do.

"You don't know–" I started before Beck silenced me.

"If they want you, really want you that badly, they have to go through me, and all our friends, your Mom, your Dad. They're not going to touch you. We'll make sure of that. I won't let her."

"Jade-" my Dad said softly.

"Take me home," I shakily whispered. "No, I…she…I don't know! I don't know."

Beck wrapped his arms around me and pulled him to his chest and that's all it took for me to break down and sob into his shirt. Trinity was back and I knew she would stop at nothing to kill me.


	16. Run

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I am so sorry this took so long to get out. I thought I had a plan going into it kept changing and then characters kept getting added and deleted.

A little fun fact about this chapter: back in chapter 10 of _Survive_, I wrote a line that Jade says almost verbatim in this chapter if that tells you how far ahead this got planned out.

So I sincerely hope you guys like this chapter. Enjoy…

* * *

**Run**

* * *

"This isn't the way home. Dad?"

"We have to find a way to keep you safe," he said.

"We'll figure this out, Jade, I promise. I won't let her hurt you," Beck whispered.

I wanted so desperately to believe Beck…to believe that I would be safe. But the fact of the matter was if Trinity wanted something, there wasn't a lot that could stop her. I couldn't and as much as I wanted to believe that Beck and my Dad could keep me safe…if Trinity did know what she did, I wasn't safe anywhere she had mentioned.

Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up to the police station. I was still shaking. I couldn't get myself to stop. The tears had but the physical reaction of my encounter hadn't gone away.

"I need you to take a deep breath, Jade," Beck quietly ordered as my dad got on his phone.

"Get on a plane and come home…right now."

"Shh," Beck said as he kissed my head in an effort to calm me down, even though it wasn't really working. He couldn't take away the fear that course through my veins. Nothing could.

* * *

"Have a seat other there while we call your parents."

"Kay kay."

I saw Cat sit down on the other side of the room but I couldn't get myself to say anything and I think Beck was too worried about me to even notice.

"Jadey?"

Cat ran toward me and I immediately embraced her with a hug. Cat was safe. Trinity hadn't gotten her. But the idea of Trinity getting her, like she had almost done in the coffee shop, sent me into more of a panic. I didn't want Cat to have to go through anything else.

"What are you doing here? Are you okay? What's wrong?" she asked. I just held onto her tighter. I didn't want to lose Cat.

"Cat, I need you to…Jade?" David said.

"We need to have a serious conversation," my dad said to him.

"Is Jade alright?" David asked softly.

My dad shook his head.

"Mitchell! I need you to finish up the Valentine paperwork!" David called.

"But the chief said-"

"This is more important! Come with me. Jade, you too."

I shook my head as Beck had Cat step back.

"I can't," I said.

"Jade, this isn't about the fact that you don't want to talk about but you have to now."

Beck gripped my wrists tightly but I shook my head. I couldn't talk to someone about Trinity. I couldn't tell them what she had done…what I had gone through. I just wanted her to go away.

"Please?" he softly pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes. I didn't want to see Beck cry but I couldn't talk about what happened. I couldn't keep reliving what happened. The dreams were bad enough.

"Jade," Tori tried but I wasn't having any of it. My mind was made up.

"Talk some sense into her, please," Beck softly begged Tori but I kept shaking my head.

"I'll try. You need to go talk to my Dad. They need whatever info you can give them."

"No," I whispered.

"I've never seen you like this," Tori said softly. "Jade, what happened?"

I didn't say anything. I tried to pull my knees up to my chest, only to realize that put too much pressure on my ribs, so I settled for leaning forward and covering my casted arm with my mostly healed one. It wasn't even comfortable. This whole situation and mess I had gotten myself into was beyond uncomfortable. My stomach started twisting, and I wasn't sure exactly why, but I ran into the bathroom. A moment later, I was vomiting in the last bathroom stall.

"Jade!"

"I don't know if it's the flu or the stress or…can you get Beck?"

I pushed myself off the floor and made my way over to the sink to splash some cold water on my face. How did my life get this out of control this quickly? I didn't understand.

"Yeah. Let's get you out of here," Tori said.

Much like Tori had when she first found me, she practically had to support me to get me to walk.

"Jade!" Beck called.

"I can't take the stress. Just get me out of here," I admitted.

"I know you're dealing with a lot but-"

"Now," I said, my voice as firm as I could make it, which still felt shaky at best.

"Okay. Stay with Tori and we'll get you out of here. I promise. I don't want you to have to suffer anymore," he whispered.

I nodded my head into Beck's chest.

"Jade, we have to talk to you," David said.

"She needs out of here," Tori interjected.

"She's safer here," he argued.

"No, she's stressing out here. Let her come to our house but don't make her stay here because all it's doing is stressing her out and making her physically sick and she doesn't need to deal with that," Tori stated. "I'm sure you'll be able to talk to her at our house but making her sit here is driving her crazy. I'd think if anything you'd want to keep her calm."

David looked at me and then nodded his head. "I'll call my wife. Mr. West, I still have to talk to you but she'll be safe."

Holly arrived at the police station some time later; I had lost track of time. Tori never once left my side and I was grateful for her friendship, especially right now. She didn't try to convince me to talk which she clearly knew I didn't want to. But her company helped so much; just having someone next to me made me feel better.

"Let's go," Holly said.

"Take us to Jet Brew. Officer Vega wants me to move my car," Beck said.

* * *

"Just leave it here," I said, referring to Beck's car.

"I have to move it," Beck replied. "I'll be right behind you guys. Tori won't let anything happen to you. She kept me together while you were gone and she'll keep you together the seven and half minutes that we're apart. Okay?"

As soon as Beck shut the car door, I started to look out the back window. I didn't want to let him out of my sight. I couldn't afford to lose Beck. He was somehow keeping me together, more than I could myself.

"Jade, we won't let anything happen," Tori said.

I wanted to shake my head at Tori's comment but that action would only result in her trying to rationalize her statement which I didn't want to listen to. I knew what Trinity could do. I knew she wouldn't hesitate to act on those threats. I had screwed up pretty badly once to the point where I thought she was going to kill Beck in front of me. I wouldn't put a single thing past her.

When we made it back to the Vega household, Beck put his car in park as soon as Holly had and escorted me out of the car and into the house.

"I told you you'd be okay," he whispered, his arms wound tightly around me.

"Do you want some coffee or something to eat?" Holly asked.

"No. I'd like to lie down," I said.

"You can take our bedroom. It's the second door on your left."

"Thank you, Mrs. Vega," Beck said.

Beck wrapped his arm around my waist, looser than he had them a few minutes earlier, and led me upstairs to the master bedroom. I immediately crashed onto the king sized bed and allowed the tears I had been keeping in since I arrived at the police station to flow free.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked softly.

I nodded my head. I didn't want to be alone, especially now that Trinity knew I was alive. I wasn't safe but I didn't know where to go. I wasn't safe at my house. I wasn't going to be safe at Tori's. Or Beck's. Or Cat's. I wasn't safe anywhere.

"Jade, tell me what you're thinking."

"I want to go somewhere where no one can find me…where _she_ can't find me…somewhere safe and quiet and…I don't know."

But being in Beck's arms didn't make me feel any safer. Trinity said she'd been watching the house. Wait…_my_ house…she'd been watching my house. Then I remembered there was another house…someone no one really knew, and I knew Beck didn't know about it.

And with that sudden realization, a plan started to form in my head…one that I would put into action very shortly.

* * *

I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't understand why Beck was sleeping or even how he could sleep right now. I didn't even feel safe in Beck's arms. I didn't feel safe at all. Not here at least. Not anywhere that Trinity might have seen. I peeled back Beck's arm and stood up.

"Jade, what are you doing? Come back to bed," Beck said groggily.

"I just have to use the bathroom," I whispered. Okay, it was a lie but if I told Beck and Trinity got him, I still wouldn't be safe. This was the only way.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked.

"I don't know. I wish I did but I just don't, Beck."

"Do you want me to wait up for you?"

I shook my head. "I'll just be a few minutes," I lied.

Beck nodded his head and closed his eyes. I watched him for a moment, knowing very well that I wouldn't be seeing him for a little while. He didn't deserve the hell I had to deal with. I wanted to kiss him goodbye but I didn't want him to wake up and suspect something. This break had to be clean and quiet. After a minute, I forced myself to turn away and make my way downstairs.

I grabbed Beck's car keys from the couch where he had dropped them off earlier and grabbed my jacket. I checked outside to see if there was anyone out there and much to my relief, there wasn't. I didn't want anyone to see me as I snuck away. I took a deep breath and dashed to the car, making sure to lock the doors the moment I made it inside.

As I put the car into drive and pulled out of the Vega driveway, I finally realized what a coward I was.


	17. Father and Daughter

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: This was one of the first moments I had in the trilogy. I wanted this confrontation to happen so badly so I'm really excited for you guys to read it.

If you want some musical background for the second half, this chapter was largely influenced by the Hunger Games Score, particularly "The Train". It's beautiful.

And in the next chapter: you will learn what's on Jade's back.

* * *

**Father and Daughter**

* * *

I yawned as I saw the sun come out. I had been on the road for about four hours now but I had no intention of stopping…not until I arrived to where I was going. I just had to stay awake for another two hours and I'd be fine. I only had another hundred and something more miles to go.

I regretted not stopping to get coffee because the every minute of isolation from driving was making me more tired. But I was afraid if I stopped, I'd run into _her _and I didn't want to take that chance. I had to get to the lakehouse.

The lake house was exactly how I remembered it when I pulled up to it and made my way inside, which was almost a comfort. The dark leather sofas…the exquisite light features that made even the darkest part of night seem like the middle of the day…for a moment, I felt safe. But that only lasted for a moment. This place was a reminder of how things used to be…before Trinity…before my parents divorced…when life was actually happy for a little while. Until I had met Beck, this was my safe haven. Every summer, I would spend weeks here. I never said it, but I loved being surrounded by nature.

In the furthest corner of the lakehouse was the master bedroom, which only had one small window it, ensuring that no one could sneak inside if I fell asleep. It felt like the safest option. I swept away the few cobwebs that had been building up and tried to get myself to relax, just a little bit. On one of the nightstands was a picture of me when I was seven, with my Dad. I looked so happy in the picture. It was before the divorce…before the affair…when my Dad actually cared about me…

My head snapped back toward the door as I heard a set of tires screech to a stop. No. It can't be her.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't run anywhere. There were only two ways in and out of the house and neither were secretive. Running was clearly out of the question. So I sat down in the small space between the bed and the wall and brought my knees up to my chest. If I stayed silent, maybe it would just go away…

"Jade!" I heard my Dad call out.

I let my guard down for just a moment. I wasn't sure if it was really my Dad. For all I knew, Trinity could have had him and was using him as bait to lure me out.

"Jade," he whispered as he stood in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Are you alone?" I whispered.

"It's only me," he said, his tone mimicking my own. "Jade-"

I stared at my Dad, not knowing what to do.

"You're safe," he said.

After a few minutes, I finally nodded my head, agreeing. My heart was still racing. He pulled his phone from his pocket and began to make a phone call.

"I found her. She's at the lakehouse. She's fine. She's _safe_."

I still couldn't get myself to move. How did I come to this anyway: shaking and hiding in a corner? I was too afraid to face what was around me.

"You used to love coming here when you were little. It was the only place I could think of that you would run to."

"I didn't know where else to go," I admitted.

"Beck and your mom are on their way up here right now and you look like you could use some sleep."

I shook my head again. I couldn't sleep. Not with her out there.

"I won't let anything happen," he said.

It took a good five minutes of me staring at my Dad and him returning the favor before I moved from my space between the wall and the bed.

"Stay," I whispered. "Dad?"

"If it'll put you more at ease," he said. He sat down in the large armrest chair in the corner and I curled up under the blankets and closed my eyes.

* * *

For the first time in…I wasn't sure how long, I slept without a nightmare. It might have been due to the extreme exhaustion from all the adrenaline but I wasn't complaining. My dad was still sitting in the same chair he had when I fell asleep.

"Your mom and Beck will be here within the hour. When you're awake, I'd like to talk to you," my Dad stated before getting up and leaving the room.

I ran my hands through my hair in attempt to make it slightly more presentable before getting out of bed. I knew I had to face my actions. I wasn't proud of what I had done but it felt like my only choice.

I sat down in the corner of the leather couch in the living room and brought my knees to my chest, much I had earlier. I couldn't get myself out of the fetal position; I felt helpless. This is what I had been reduced to. This is what Trinity had done to me.

"It only took you ten hours to find me," I said.

"Jade, it's at least a six hour drive up here and knowing how you drive, it probably took you exactly six hours and you had a two hour head start."

"Something like that," I muttered. There were hardly any cars on the road at three in the morning, which helped, not to mention that I was probably going close to eighty miles an hour on the highway.

"At least you're safe now."

"I needed to go somewhere where I knew I would be safe and where I couldn't be found…where _she_ can't find me."

"So you took off in the middle of night?" he asked.

I nodded my head. "I'm never scared of anything. I've never run away from my problems."

"How did you escape that night?" he asked softly.

I had never told anyone how I had escaped. It wasn't that I technically escaped either. I had just lucked out.

"They thought I was dead and when I couldn't hear them, I ran the other way and I eventually found Tori's house. I've never run away from anything before."

"Running away saved your life," he said. "That's nothing to be ashamed about."

"But I've never run from anything. I've always faced it head on. It's the same way in acting. You take the challenge and accept it. I know you think acting's stupid but I think _it_ saved my life so you're not allowed to say anything bad about it."

"It saved your life?"

"I had to play a dead body once. Dad, what would have happened if they had found a body and not me?"

I could see my father's stature physically react to the question but I wanted to know the answer. I didn't know if my dad really cared or he was just waiting for this whole situation to blow over. He had been around so much over the last month and a half or so but I needed to know if it was really genuine. I needed to know if he really did care.

My dad didn't say anything. He took a deep breath and looked at me.

"I hate you," I finally said.

"Why?"

"Why?!" I shouted. "You've never been there! I go missing for a month and almost die and now you care?! Now you want to be a father?!"

"Jade, you're my daughter-"

"So?!"

"I love you," he said but I just shook my head.

"You don't say it. You don't show it. How am I supposed to know?!"

"I'm sorry."

"You're just saying that! You don't care! You've never cared! And as soon as they catch her, you'll just go back to the way you were!"

I got off the couch and began retreating back to the master bedroom…no…I couldn't keep running. Running's what got me into this mess. I needed to face my father and really get the answer that I wanted. I turned to face him, still keeping my hand on the door frame.

"Dad, what would have happened if they had found my body and not me?" I asked, slower this time.

"Don't ask that again," he said softly.

"Dad-"

"I love you. I know I don't show it or say it…and that's wrong. And I can't take that back. And I'm sorry that it's taken something like this…something that took you away from me, to realize that. I thought we…that I had lost you. I…you have no idea how difficult it is…"

"Do you even care?" I asked. "Do you?!"

In that instant, my dad pulled me into a hug and wouldn't let go. His arms were wrapped tightly around and I didn't even want to pull away.

"The month you were missing was the worst month of my life. I don't want to experience anything like that again. I know I don't say it but I do love you. You're my daughter and I don't want anything bad to happen to you and I don't want to lose you."

"You love me?" I asked, sobs laced in my throat but I didn't care.

"More than you know."

"I'm sorry," I softly cried.

My dad didn't move. He just stood there while I cried. I never realized that my dad did care…that it really would hurt him if he lost me, even though I stood for everything he was against.

"You have a lot of people who care about you and don't want to see you suffer anymore, including Beck and your mom who just pulled up."

"Dad?"

"What?"

"I love you."


	18. The Knot

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I worked on this all afternoon and finally got it done. I hope you enjoy.

And please remember that Trinity is really screwed up, not that you really need to be reminded of it.

Since I can't post links on here, just google what Jade says the design is and you'll know what it looks like. And no, I didn't make the name up.

* * *

The Knot

* * *

The last thing I expected Beck to do when I opened the door was slap me across the face.

The slap stung. Beck was fuming, not that I could blame him.

"Do you have any idea what you just put me through?!" he seethed.

I didn't speak or move or anything. In my mind, Beck had every right to do what he had done. I had just put him through hell by taking off without any word after my run-in with Trinity.

"Do you?!"

My dad pushed past me and pushed Beck up against the door frame.

"You will never lay a hand on my daughter again," he stated, his voice firm and angry.

"Dad, he's right. I deserved that. He had every right," I said.

"No he doesn't. No man has the right to hit a woman," he said before turning to Beck. "You are here because you keep her calmer and more at ease but if you lay a hand on her again-"

"He won't," I said.

"You and I need to talk," my Dad said, pulling Beck outside.

My mom made her way inside and gave me a small hug.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I deserved it," I said.

"Jade, you're under a great deal of stress."

"That doesn't excuse what I did," I pointed it.

"The important thing is that you're safe," she reminded me.

But that was just it. I wasn't going to feel safe until they caught her and she'd never been caught. She had committed all these murders and she still completely blended in with society. I wasn't sure if they would ever catch her or if she would just keep torturing me from the other side.

"We packed a bag for you. We're not sure how long we'll be here but if this is where you feel safe, then that's where we'll stay. Don't run off like that again though. You scared everyone," my mother said.

I nodded my head and grabbed the duffel bag that was sitting next to the couch before making my way back into the master bedroom. When I set it on the bed and unzipped it, the first thing on top was Mr. Purple, and I smiled for the first time since I had run into Trinity. Even though Cat wasn't here physically, her spirit was and she could still light up a room.

I grabbed the towel that laid underneath it and proceeded into the bathroom to take a shower. Showers weren't exactly my favorite thing anymore since they always seemed to remind me of what was scarred on my body but the scalding hot water seemed to help take me away for a minute or so. Every little bit helped right now.

As I got out of the shower and wrapped the towel tightly around my body and re-entered the master bedroom, Beck was sitting in the same armchair that my dad was in earlier.

"I don't want to let you out of my sight," he said.

"I guess I deserve that," I said softly.

"But you didn't deserve to be slapped and I'm really sorry about that."

"I know and I've already forgiven you."

I reached down and grabbed a change of clothes from the duffel bag. I didn't want to put on the clothes that I was wearing when I ran into Trinity back on. I didn't mind just being a towel, even though Beck was in the room but I knew if one of my parents walked in, it wasn't going to fly with them. But at the same time, I was glad they were here.

"Jade, what's on your back?" Beck asked.

I had momentarily forgotten that I was standing in the master bedroom with only a towel on, leaving my back somewhat exposed. I froze. I knew I couldn't keep my back a secret forever but this wasn't how I wanted Beck to find out this way: through my carelessness.

"Please?" he asked.

"Don't be mad," I whispered. I hugged the towel around my body even tighter.

"I won't."

I didn't know how well Beck would be able to keep that promise but I couldn't hide Trinity's mark any longer. I laid down on the bed and loosened the towel, but not before grabbing one of the pillows to hide my face. I knew I wouldn't be able to see Beck's face when he saw it. The first time I saw it in the mirror, I broke down, sobbing at the atrocity that lived on my back. I knew it had healed up a little bit but it was still ugly. It always would be.

"Jade?"

"Go ahead," I mumbled into the pillow.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Part of me wanted to tell him no but I knew he would always ask about it. I nodded my head as I felt the cold air in the cabin make contact with my back as Beck slowly pulled the towel down from my back, but allowing the rest of my body to remain covered. He pushed my hair to the side and I heard him take in a sharp, deep breath.

When Beck placed his hand on my back, I wanted to flinch away. But to my surprise, he only laid it there and didn't move it.

"Jade…"

"It's called a trinity knot. Fitting name for a psychopath with two accomplices, isn't it?"

"She did this?" Beck whispered. He was holding his emotions back, both a mix of anger and hurt.

I could only nod my head into the pillow as I remembered what Trinity said to me about it.

_"It's going on your back. I had planned on doing it later but after your little stunt yesterday, this seems like a fitting punishment," Trinity said._

She was so calm about it, both before and during the tracing and carving of it, at least until she made it about two thirds of the way through.

"It doesn't look like she finished it," Beck whispered.

I shook my head. "She didn't. I moved and she got so mad. I mean: I didn't just lie there and let her do it. She had me restrained. And I kept screaming and crying and shouting and she wouldn't stop, Beck. She wouldn't stop."

As Beck traced the incomplete design with his fingertips, I was somehow put at ease. Not having to hide it anymore…at least not from Beck, I felt like a weight had been lifted on my shoulders. After tracing it, he gently planted a kiss on my back and placed the quilted sherpa blanket on top of my back before wrapping his arm around my side and holding me tightly in his embrace.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

I turned to face him, letting him see all the tears that were currently staining my face.

"You couldn't have done anything. You weren't there."

"Still…what you had to go through…"

"She did it to Cat too; it's on her arm. And Robbie. His chest wound that caused him to bleed to death, it's the same design that's on my back. Beck, you're the only one who doesn't have one," I whispered.

I couldn't stop shaking as Beck held me. And there wasn't anything that could calm me down. Trinity had quite literally scarred me for life and even though I wasn't in her clutches anymore, it didn't erase the scars.

It didn't take back the countless hours of terror.

It didn't erase the trauma she had put me through.


	19. Psychasthenia

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: So...the title of this chapter actually means nervous collapse...which is exactly what Jade is going through.

Also, I hope I got all the errors out. Proofing at 1am isn't the smartest idea but I hate waiting to post.

* * *

**Psychasthenia**

* * *

"_Wake up."_

_I groaned as I turned over. The lack of sleep was really starting to take a number on me._

"_Ten more minutes, Beck."_

"_Try again."_

"_Fine," I mumbled._

_I opened my eyes just enough to prove that I was awake and the first thing I saw was Beck sitting in the armchair by the door, covered in blood. His eyes were wide open and his throat had been slashed._

"_He had no fight in him at all. Surprised really. Even more so that you just slept through it. You didn't even know," Trinity said._

_I couldn't move. I couldn't even wrap my head around the fact that Trinity had murdered Beck…that I had let her do it…that I didn't stop her._

_She climbed on top of me and held her knife to my throat. Fear overtook me. If she had done that to Beck, what was she going to do to me?_

"_Don't," I said softly. "Don't."_

"_It's so funny how you think begging will stop me. You should know by now that it won't. There's not really anything that can, least of all you."_

"Beck!"

"Calm down, you're fine!" he almost shouted.

The worst part about nightmares: it took me forever to snap back to reality. But this was reality…right here. Beck had his arm wrapped around me. He wasn't dead. There wasn't blood. Just Beck. Just me. Just us. When Beck's eyes met my own, that's all it took for me to lose it and break down.

"What's wrong? Jade?"

"She…you…" I tried but I couldn't get anything to come out coherently.

"I'm here. You're safe. I'm fine. It's okay. It's alright."

I kept shaking my head until Beck placed his hands on my cheeks and held them firmly. I knew Trinity could do it and probably would if she got the chance.

"I'm right here," he repeated. "I won't let anything happen to you. Let's go back to sleep. You need it."

"No. Can't."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded my head. If I closed my eyes, I would just see her.

Beck got out of bed and extended his hand out. "Come on. Let's get some coffee then."

* * *

"I'm sorry I forgot the sugar," Beck said, handing me two packets as he sat down in the swinging bench on the back patio.

"Don't worry about it."

"You're awfully forgiving lately. What's up with that?"

"It's not worth fighting about. Nothing is anymore."

I poured the sugar into my coffee and then brought the drink up to my lips before setting it down in my lap. I looked through the window, only to see my parents still yelling at each other. Before all this, they didn't even care and now it's…I knew they didn't get along but I couldn't take it with them at each other's throats.

"Try to ignore it. You don't need to be stressing out. You've got enough to deal with."

I looked out to the trees and tried to get myself to zone out from the hell I was living in. Beck was right, not that it surprised me. As I relaxed into Beck's embrace, I saw a flash of blonde hair and my heart started racing.

"She's there," I whispered. I could feel my voice shaking. "Trinity's there. Here. Beck?"

"Jade, she's not there. There's no one there. It's just _us_," he said.

"I hate this. It's like I can't even live anymore and then my parents won't stop yelling. It's like the divorce all over again!"

"Jade, yell at me," Beck said.

"I'm not mad at you. I mean…no…just…no."

"Yell at me."

"Why? It's not going to accomplish anything."

"Yell at me. Do it. It'll make you feel better."

I shook my head. "No it won't."

"It'll get your mind off them yelling."

"I just want them to stop because I know I'm in danger. I know."

That was it. They needed to know where I was coming from. I pushed myself off Beck and burst back into the lakehouse.

"Stop it! I know you don't get along and I don't need you to get back together but I need you to keep it together for me right now because I can't!" I shouted at them. "Just stop! STOP!"

My parents looked at me like I had lost my mind but I couldn't handle it anymore. My mom made her way into the kitchen as her cell phone started ringing. My dad just stood his ground.

"Feel better?" Beck asked.

I turned to face Beck. I wasn't done.

"And you!" I yelled at him. "I hate you. You didn't fight for me!"

"Jade-"

Beck stepped closer to me and I pushed him back. I didn't want his pity. I wanted him to hear what I had to say. I needed him to understand.

"No! You…you sent me to my grave. Did you know that? That day in the coffee shop when you called my name. Why didn't you fight harder! You knew it was her! You knew it was me. You knew. And you didn't do anything. You could have stopped it all but you didn't."

I laid down on the couch, face first. I couldn't even stand to look at Beck. Beck had really hurt me that day. He should have known. He knew who I was.

"I'm sorry," Beck whispered.

"You should have fought harder," I said softly, not even bothering to face him.

"I know."

"It's like she's tearing you apart from the inside," my dad whispered.

"You don't know what she can do. You have no idea what she can do, Dad."

My mom tapped my dad on the shoulder and handed him her cell phone.

"Officer Vega needs to speak with you," she told him.

"Try to calm down. There's no need for you to panic," my dad said to me. "You're safe."

Safe was an illusion. Beck knelt down beside the couch after my dad left and pushed my hair around from my face before kissing my forehead.

"You've already got a bruise where I hit you. I'm so _so_ sorry," Beck whispered, letting his thumb graze over where he hit my cheek yesterday.

"I told you, it's fine," I said softly.

"But it's not. Before all this-"

"Just stop."

"You would have never let me get away with this-"

"Beck-"

"And now it's as if this incident…"

"Stop."

"Why did you forgive me? You've…"

"There's nothing you can do that can measure up to the hell _they_ put me through, alright? Nothing."

I meant it too. I thought I would never get over the hurt from our breakup but that seemed practically insignificant after I agreed to stay with Trinity, Nash, and Stiles and what I had to deal with. The pain…at times, I wasn't even sure if the physical pain was worse than the emotional pain. I just hated it all.

"You know, I've never forgiven myself for letting you walk out that door that night," Beck said.

"Which one?"

"Both but mostly the one that took you away. I'll never be able to forgive myself for that."

"It was for the best," I said softly. I reached out to touch Beck's face but he took my hand and encased it in his own.

"What do you mean?"

"They would have killed us all anyway."

"So…you gave yourself up to save Cat? Me?"

I nodded my head as I let a tear fall free from eye. If my dad could see what Trinity was doing to me, I was positive that Beck knew too.

"Jade…you shouldn't have."

"It saved your life."

"But it wasn't worth losing you. Jade, I couldn't function when you were gone. I was that miserable. Cat barely kept it together. I can't lose you. I can't."

"Say you love me."

"I love you. You know that. I always will and we'll figure this out."

"It helps to hear though…to be reminded," I admitted.

Beck stood up and then sat down on the couch next to me, letting me lie on his lap.

"I love you," he said, smiling.

"Thank you," I heard my dad say. I sat up as I heard him come closer.

"What did Officer Vega want?" I asked.

"He'd like you and Beck to come into the police station," my dad said.

"Why?" Beck questioned.

"They'd like to identify a couple of people. I'm assuming that Jade will prefer to ride with you and we'll behind you guys."

I looked up at Beck, unsure of the entire situation.

"You really think?" I began.

"Only one way to find out."

* * *

When we arrived, we were immediately whisked away into the chief's office where Officer Vega was waiting for us. On the desk, he had two pictures. I immediately became nervous.

"Do you recognize these men?" Officer Vega asked, turning the pictures over.

I nodded my head. I couldn't believe it. They caught them. But that also meant that Trinity was alone and more dangerous than ever.

"That's Nash and Stiles. You caught them?" Beck asked.

"Jade, are these two of the people who had you?" Officer Vega questioned.

I nodded my head again. I wasn't really sure what to feel. I should have been relieved but with Trinity…

"How did you catch them?" I asked.

"Actually, Beck's parents noticed them around his RV and called us. We were able to arrest them for trespassing on private property. However, since you two have been able to identify them, we'll be able to make more charges stick."

I grabbed Beck's hand and squeezed it tightly. "She was going to take you…because of me."

"But they didn't. I'm right here," Beck said. "They haven't touched me."

"But you didn't catch her though, did you?" I asked. I knew I wasn't going to need to clarify who I meant.

"No. She wasn't with them and they won't say a word on her."

Somehow, that didn't put me at ease. Sure, two of them were caught but the one I was truly terrified of was still out there. The one that could really hurt me was still out there.

"So what do we do about Trinity?" Beck asked. "She won't stop until she…"

"Just shut up," I said. I didn't know what Beck was going to say but I didn't want him to even finish it. Anything involving Trinity couldn't have been good.

"What I'm going to suggest is highly unconventional but I don't know of another way. We'd like to use Jade as live bait to lure her out," Officer Vega said.

Everyone's eyes turned toward me and I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and turn invisible. They couldn't seriously expect me to face the woman who tried to kill me on more than one occasion. If their plan backfired, Trinity would just have me again and I knew she would kill me. I didn't want to die.

"You listen to me: if you don't want to do this, you don't do it. This is your choice. Whatever you decide, we're behind you," my dad said.

Still, I didn't want to disappoint them because I knew they wanted to find her and take her down but I couldn't face her again. The thought of coming face to face with Trinity again…

"I can't."


	20. Tremor

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I won't lie: this chapter frustrated me. I'm not even sure if it's any good to be honest although that might be the lack of progress talking. I hope you enjoy and I sincerely hope the next chapter doesn't take this long.

* * *

** Tremor**

* * *

The police escorted us home and even though there would be rotating officers staying the house with us, it didn't seem to put me at ease at all. Upon arriving back at the house, I immediately retreated to my room. I couldn't face anyone. I couldn't do the one thing they needed done because I was too scared.

_I was a coward_.

"Jade, stop! Jade!" Beck shouted but I didn't. I couldn't.

When I got back to my bedroom, I started to yank all my pillows and blankets off my bed. I fixed the sheets before starting to lay the black comforter over the top, making it as smooth as I could. I had to focus on something.

"You're making the bed. Why are you making the bed?" Beck asked.

Because I needed to feel normal.

Because I needed to _be_ normal.

Because I needed…

I needed…

As I placed the last throw pillow on the bed, I grabbed it and threw it at Beck, rage completely filling my body.

"Jade!"

"I can't take this!" I shouted.

I started to grab whatever was in front of me and throwing it against the wall…the bed…Beck. I didn't even know why. I couldn't handle everything or even anything. Everything was crashing around me…my life.

"Stop!" Beck yelled but I didn't. I couldn't.

I needed control.

I needed safety.

I needed normality.

"Jade!"

Beck wrapped his arms around me and tried to lower me to the floor. Even in his embrace, I didn't feel better. Didn't feel safe.

"Stop! Stop," he whispered.

"I need to be normal!" I wailed.

"Normal's boring," Beck said.

I shook my head.

"Normal is safe and easy and better. I need normal! And I'll never get it! As long as she's out there! I'll never be near normal again! I don't care if it's safe and boring and easy. If it means I don't have to keep living like this…I can't do it."

"You can," he said softly. "I know you can. It'll get better."

I leaned against Beck as I tried to get myself to calm down.

"Better?" he asked.

"I don't know," I finally said. I wasn't really better but it wasn't worse. That counted for something, didn't it?

Beck helped me up off the floor and once I got my footing, I felt the ground shaking. I shook my head. This could not be happening.

"Beck?" I asked. _Tell me this is a nightmare. This isn't happening. It's not happening._

"Turn around," he said.

I turned into Beck's chest as he held us underneath my door frame, much like he had for Cat the night this whole hell started. And here it was, happening all over again.

"I know," he whispered.

"No," I whimpered.

As the earthquake quelled down, I held onto Beck even tighter as I heard people coming upstairs. It was happening. They were coming. They were coming for me. _She_ was coming for me.

"Is everyone okay?"

I couldn't get myself to stop shaking. The earthquake…the clicking of heels…_her_…I couldn't…

"Jade?"

"This whole thing started with an earthquake," Beck explained. "It just reminds us of the hell we went through and what she had to go through."

"Don't let her take me again."

"Shh. You're safe."

I couldn't believe it. I wasn't and I knew it. I knew Trinity knew where Beck lived, she practically flaunted it in front of me when she took me to get murdered. She knew everything.

"Your room is um…is it alright if we sleep downstairs?" Beck asked.

I nodded my head as I gazed off into space. I could feel myself shutting off and while it terrified me, it was also relieving. I wouldn't be able to feel anything. I felt Beck picking me up and I nuzzled my face into this neck, desperately wanting to disappear and for this whole nightmare to be over.

* * *

"How's Jade being doing?"

I heard Beck sigh. "She's just getting worse. Trinity's just-"

"Don't say her name," I whispered.

"Hey, how long have you been awake?" he asked, giving me a small kiss on the cheek.

I pushed myself up from the couch but allowed myself to remain in Beck's embrace. Then I saw Tori, Cat, and André staring at me. "Long enough. What are you all doing here?"

"We were so worried about you," Tori said. "My dad mentioned what happened."

"We all thought you could use some support," André said.

"And then with you running away and with the earthquake last night," Cat said.

"I don't want to talk about it," I snapped.

"Why won't you do it?" Cat asked.

"You don't know the kind of damage she can do now that Nash and Stiles aren't with her. It's so much worse," I said.

Nash had been able to keep her in line and even control her to some extent, Stiles even less but at least had some sense of control. Now she had nothing. I had only been alone with her once, when Nash and Stiles weren't anywhere near her, and she almost killed me. Now, there was nothing to hold her back or stop her. Nothing to stop her from coming after me. Nothing to stop her from killing me and getting away with it.

"What if I do it with you?" Cat suggested.

I wasn't sure which one of us was more shocked at the idea that Cat had just offered herself up as live bait.

"She's not after you. She's after Jade," Beck said.

"But I'll be with Jade the whole time. If it makes Jade feel better…"

"Cat, I can't let you be bait because I'm too scared to do it myself. She's hurt you," I pointed out.

"She's hurt you too! She's hurt all of us! And Robbie!"

Cat looked like she was about to cry, which only made me feel worse about this situation.

"Cat," I said.

"Don't you get it?! She can't stay out there!" Cat yelled at me. "She can't!"

"I know! But I don't want to get killed either! All she needs is _one _moment and I can't let her! She'll kill me if she gets her hands on me, especially now that she's alone. Cat, I know she scares you but you didn't have to spend three weeks with her. I did. I know what she can do."

I knew. I was still having nightmares about it. Every time I saw my back or my arm, I was reminded. Even blond hair was starting to freak me out. Even looking at my friends and seeing, what I presumed to be, pity on their faces wasn't helping the situation.

I saw an empty coffee cup on the coffee table in front of me and I grabbed it as an excuse to levea the room.

"Where are you going?" Beck asked.

"I'll stay in the house, I promise," I said. Deep down, I knew why Beck didn't want to let go. He was afraid that I would take off again. But that was the farthest thing in my mind right now. All I wanted to do was hide.

"It'll be okay," Beck said.

I yanked my hand away. "Don't lie to me."

That's what I felt like: everyone was trying to lie to me to make this situation appear better off than what it was. This situation wasn't ever going to be okay. It just wasn't. Trinity was winning because I couldn't face it and that wasn't right. She needed to be stopped.

"What do I do?" I asked when I entered my mom's office. She and my dad were sitting on opposite sides of the room but it was evident there were having a discussion before I walked in.

"What do you mean?" my dad asked.

"I don't know what to do. I mean, I know what the cops want me to do but I don't know if I can do it," I said.

"It's a tough situation because while I don't want this woman out there or come after you, I also don't want put you in a situation where you don't feel safe."

"So am I supposed to do?"

My dad sighed. "I don't have an answer for you."

"You're not helping. You're supposed to have an answer for me!"

I jumped when I heard a knock at the door. What if it was her? She knew where I lived.

"I'll get it," my mother said.

"Wait!" I shouted.

"Jade, it's only Officer Vega. He called saying he was going to stop by. It's fine. Go ahead," my dad said.

I nodded my head as I calmed down yet again for the umpteenth time today.

"How are you doing?" Officer Vega asked when he came into the office that I had temporarily made my safe place since my room was wrecked from the earthquake last night.

I turned away for a brief moment. I wasn't doing well. The fact that I hadn't been able to keep anything together over the last twenty-four hours should have been a testament to that.

"Anything?" my mom asked.

Officer Vega shook his head.

"Do you have any other back-up plans?" I asked.

Officer Vega shook his head again. "But we'll come up with something."

"No."

"Jade?" my dad asked.

"I'll do it," I whispered.

"Are you sure? You don't have to if you don't want to," he pointed out but I just shook my head.

I couldn't let Trinity do what she had done to us to someone else.

I couldn't let her control me anymore.


	21. Machination

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: Did you really think it would be that easy? Let me tell you something...Trinity's quite...she's an interesting character to deal with.

And just to add some fun, the next chapter is already done. Was mostly done on October 15th, with little tweaks now and then. I just don't know when I want to post it. And I'm ***very*** excited about it.

* * *

**Machination**

* * *

We spent the next two days preparing. I had spent most of the first day going over Trinity's habits with them, so they could figure out the best time to set up the sting. They were able to deduct that she was most likely to come get her ritualistically caramel macchiato at three in the afternoon and that we should set it up at one in the rare event she came early.

To say that I was nervous couldn't have been more of an understatement. I was trembling as they taped the wire to my body. It was only a matter of time. And while I still didn't want to face her, I didn't want someone else to have to go through what we did.

I had to step up.

I had to face her.

I had to stop her.

"At any given time, there will be two undercover police officers in the shop with you. You need to look and act completely natural. We don't want to tip her off that something's up," Officer Vega explained.

"And when she does come in?" I asked.

"We'll see her on the live feed and as soon as Beck can confirm it's her, we'll arrest her and get you out of there. We already have a warrant for her arrest. We don't have to wait for her to commit a crime to take her."

"We won't keep you in there any longer than we have to," Beck said. "I won't let them."

"I know," I whispered.

"You can still back out," he said.

I shook my head. "I can't let her hurt someone else. Beck, I have to do this. She needs to know that she can't control me anymore. She can't control anyone else. I have to, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to do it with you? David said I can if you want."

I shook my head. "She's after me. She'll want me alone."

"Are you ready?" Officer Vega asked.

I took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"I know this is going to sound ridiculous but you need to relax. If you've spent three weeks with this woman, she'll know your habits. She'll know when you show fear and when you're scared and odds are, she'll play on that."

I nodded my head. He was right. I took a moment to collect myself. I tried to get myself to realize that if I did come face to face with Trinity, this would be the last time it would ever happen. This would bring her down.

"Put this in your ear," he said, handing me a small circular item that was maybe a third of the size of a dime.

"What will it do?" I asked as if I placed it in the inside of my ear. It was small and I knew no one would notice it unless they were really looking for it.

"This will let us hear everything someone says and what you say. We'll also be able to hear us so if we tell you to get out, I don't care if you have to make a scene, get out. At least one of the officers will be behind you if we pull you out."

"You be safe," my dad said, hugging me tightly. "I love you."

"It's not goodbye," I reminded him.

"I know."

Still, that didn't put my nerves at rest but knowing that I had a way out of the situation and that there was no possible way that Trinity could take me again helped. Knowing that I could bring in some justice to what happened to me and happened to Robbie and anyone else she uprooted, that helped too.

"Whenever you're ready," Officer Vega said.

I nodded my head and got out of the van. I took a deep breath.

_Don't look suspicious. Act naturally. This is just an acting assignment. Just acting._

When I got inside, I ordered my usually black coffee. I was sure to give them my name, just on the off chance that Trinity would walk in when they called it. She needed to know that I was here. I sat down in the back corner like we had planned and waited. But when they called my name for my large coffee, she still wasn't here.

"It's fine," Officer Vega said. "We'll give her some time."

So we did. But then one turned into two and then into three and we still didn't have anything. The officers in the shop were starting to notice how antsy I was getting. One of them even had to pass me a note, reassuring me that I was safe.

But we still weren't getting anything. I watched as a myriad of people came and went but there was no sign of Trinity and it was making me more anxious. I knew she to draw things out but her non-existent presence was beyond torturing at this point.

"Jade, what's the latest she's ever had her drink?" Officer Vega asked in my ear.

I thought back. The latest Nash had ever brought her drink was four, maybe four thirty. I looked at my Pearphone. It was almost six. Something wasn't right. Unlocking my Pearphone, I started a text to Beck. I knew he would show it to Officer Vega.

_Something's wrong. She's never late. She's always on time._

A minute later, I had a response.

_David said leave and come see us in the van. I love you._

That was all I needed to hear. Having to sit and wait was exhausting because I never knew what to expect. And the fact that I drunk four coffees since the start of this sting wasn't helping the situation. It was probably raising my anxiety more than anything else.

"Nothing?" I asked when I reached the van.

"This was a bust. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. She's smart. She must've known," I justified.

"Perhaps."

I took the earpiece out of my ear as another officer began removing my wire. I wasn't sure if I should have been relieved or frustrated by the lack of events that happened today. I didn't have to face Trinity but that also meant that she was still out there.

"What happens now?" my mom asked.

"I don't want to go home," I said. Trinity knew where I lived. If she was out there…she could very well be staking out my house right now, just waiting for me to come home.

"Do you want to go back to my RV?" Beck asked. "I'll do anything you want."

I shook my head. Trinity knew where that was too. She had practically flaunted it in front of me when she made Nash drive by it.

"Will you take me back to the lakehouse? I feel better up there."

_I felt safer._

Beck looked at my dad. My dad handed him a set of keys. "We'll be up there shortly but if she feels safer up there, that's where you should go. You did great."

"Thanks," I muttered. I just didn't feel like I had. I felt like I failed. We didn't get what we wanted…what I _needed_. "Can we go already? I don't want to be here anymore."

"Sure."

* * *

"I'm very proud of you," Beck said. "I can't believe you did it."

We had been driving for four hours already and I still hadn't said a word. There wasn't anything I could say.

"We didn't catch her though. She's still out there," I pointed out as I stared at the window and at the rain that was pouring down.

"Is that…is that car coming right at us?" Beck asked. "Jade?"

"Move closer to the side of the road and slow down a little," I ordered. That car did look like it was coming right at us.

"Sure," he replied. I could tell he was focusing on the road. I felt us slow down but the car ahead of us wasn't. It looked like it was speeding up. Beck swerved even more to the side.

"Psycho," Beck muttered as the car drove past us.

"Look out!" I screamed.

Beck tried to regain control of the wheel, but not quick enough to keep us on the road. My head slammed forward as the car hit the tree off the road and our car tipped on the side. I felt blood running down my forehead. This was bad.

"Beck?" I called out.

No response.

"Beck?" I tried again.

I unbuckled my seat belt and tried to sit up, only to discover that my body didn't want me to. The only real option I had was to lay there while I gathered the strength.

A car drove by and slowed down as it got closer. Through the rain, I could faintly see blond hair with a lilac tucked in it, getting out of the car in front of us, before I blacked out.


	22. Trinity

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I am so ridiculously proud and happy with how this chapter turned out! So excited for you guys to read it!

So you guys all know that you got _Rekindle_ a week earlier than planned. There's a reason for that.

I knew very early on that I needed this scene to happen. On August 17, I wrote a draft of this and the next chapter and sent it to one of my friends and we came to the conclusion that it was very MA and graphic and violent and you could color the paper red with how much blood there was. I agreed to rewrite it on the same terms that I got to update early.

Be thankful. I'll tell you why later.

This chapter is still a bit on the violent side and a bit graphic still but I'm pretty sure it's in the M parameters now.

You've been warned. You know what Trinity is capable of. If you don't, please refer to chapter 4. Or you can just wait for the companion piece that's coming to a computer near you. It's called _Affliction_.

And for Jade's sake, as well as my own, **BREATHE**!

* * *

**Trinity**

* * *

The smell of freshly brewed coffee brought me back around.

"I'll never understand your fascination with coffee…then again, you'll never understand the fascination I have with my toy. It's about time you woke up though. It's been a while. Did you have a good nap? I was starting to worry that I had already killed you and that made me quite sad."

I squinted my eyes closed before opening them, only to find the familiar surroundings of my father's lake house and then, I saw Trinity. My heart sank. This was the one place I was supposed to feel safe. This was the one place where she wasn't supposed to find me.

"You've probably noticed that your arms are hurting a bit, your left one might be hurting a bit more since we broke it and I took the cast off. You're handcuffed to the ceiling by means of the rafter," she said, pointing up. She leant forward, leaving no personal space between us. "And those cuffs are unbreakable. They've held many before you, including your precious little boyfriend. And let's face it: you're not nearly as strong as him."

She stepped back, almost as if she was the admiring the position she had put me in. I pulled at the handcuffs, hoping to get them to break. I needed to get away from here. I needed to get away from Trinity. I knew, quite well, what Trinity was capable of doing. And with her currently disheveled hair and crazed look in her eyes, I didn't want to know what she had planned.

"Look what you're standing on," she ordered, gesturing me to look down.

I swallowed as I looked down and realized I was standing on a stool. Trinity's foot was beside one of the legs and I instantly knew what she was about to do. In a swift movement, her foot kicked the stool from underneath me, causing me to now hang helplessly from the rafter. A pair of handcuffs was all that was holding me up.

_Defenseless._

She picked up the stool and placed it by the table. I saw her grab her knife off the table and saunter toward me. I didn't even need to see the knife to know I was in trouble. Trinity was by herself and the one time I had been left alone with her, she almost killed me in her rage. And this time, there wasn't anything to hold her back. No one to stop her.

"Don't worry though. They'll find you. You'll just be dead when it happens and drained of almost all your blood. So, shall we start? Well, it's not as if I'm really going to give you a choice in the matter."

She began to run her knife, the one thing that I was truly afraid of because I know exactly what she could do with it, along the inside of my right arm. My bottom lip trembled. I hated the feel of that blade. I hated that with just a tiny bit of pressure, Trinity could slice into me and bring me into a world of pain. She'd done it before and she wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

"Relax. I won't hit any arteries. That would kill you too quickly and that's not what I want. No…this…I'll enjoy this. I guess you can call it redemption."

She ran her fingernails against the scar that used to be my tattoo.

"And unlike when I did your back, you moving will just make more a mess, and I'm okay with that. In the end, it'll just mean more pain for you. This time, you'll suffer. I'm going to drag your death out for as long as I can. And the best part is that no one can save you. Not Nash. I doubt Beck will unless he can figure out the clue I left him. Even if he does, it'll probably be too late."

I needed to find a way to keep her distracting from doing what might be the inevitable. But if I could delay her, it might save my life. So I asked the only question I could think of.

"Why? Everything, why?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Why not? It's fun."

I shook my head. "That's not a reason."

"Isn't it?" she asked, plunging her knife into my arm, just a little higher from where my rebel star tattoo used to be.

"Stop!" I screamed. "Stop!"

"Why? I love hearing you scream. Always did. I thought about gagging you but it wouldn't be as fun for me if I did. The struggle would have been fun but the sounds you make…I love those."

Trinity pulled the knife out of my arm and used the bottom of my shirt to clean off my blood. I could see a pool of blood already forming underneath me.

_My blood was on the floor beneath me. My **blood**. Just like it had so many times before…_

It was small right now but I knew it wouldn't stay that way for very long. The gleam in Trinity's eyes told me that she was just getting started.

"How you managed to survive last time, well, I'm not sure how but I can assure you that won't be the case this time. I'll make sure you're dead this time and then…I'll go after Beck…and Cat. Let me make something rather clear to you, _Jade_, no one has ever made it out alive and stayed that way. And I'm not going to allow you to change that."

With the knife in her hand, she rolled up the bottom of my shirt up past my stomach and ran her blade against my exposed flesh.

"You've healed up a bit. Maybe that's a good thing," she said.

I closed my eyes. I knew what she was going to do. I didn't have to guess. Well, I didn't know exactly what she had in mind but I knew it would be painful. Trinity loved making me suffer so I knew it would happen.

I screamed out as I felt the blade puncture my skin as Trinity drew a curvy design shaped like an "x" on my stomach.

"Stop! Please!"

"Alright," she said and she did. I didn't know why or what her motive was but I got her to stop. "I imagine that probably hurts, no? Just imagine what I'll do to Beck and Cat once I'm done with you."

"You said you wouldn't touch them if I went with you," I countered as the pain grew. I had to delay her. If I couldn't stop her, I could at least delay her from doing more damage, from completing my murder.

"No, _Nash_ said that. _I_ made no such promise. But you…you believed it! That's…you're so interesting to me. That's one of the reasons you got to live for as long as you did. But it won't save you. No one can."

Outside, I could hear brakes screeching and I knew without a doubt in my mind that Trinity heard them too.

"It sounds like we're about to get some company. This should be fun."

Fun was the scariest word in Trinity's vocabulary because I knew that her fun would mean my demise. She made her way over to the kitchen and looked out one of the windows. She smiled and then looked at me.

"This _will_ be quite fun…at least for me. Probably not so much for you."

I wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about.

"I guess I'll just have to start a little earlier than I originally intended. That's too bad but I'm not leaving you alive so…"

"You're so fucked up," I said. I was trying to delay her. I had to delay her. I didn't know who was in that car but since Nash and Stiles had been arrested, it wasn't likely that they posed a threat to me as much as they would to Trinity.

"I know but as I told you before: I'm quite content with who I am."

"Please? Don't," I begged. I never thought I would be begging for my life but I didn't want to die.

She leaned in closer to me and smiled as she held the blade against my stomach.

"It's not going to do you any good. It won't save you."

"Jade!"

My heart sank when I saw Beck standing in the doorway, completely out of breath. I should have been ecstatic, relieved even. But I knew the moment I was dead, Trinity was going to kill him too.

"I was so hoping this would happen," Trinity said, smiling. "Now you get to watch as I kill her…and then, I can kill you too."


	23. Showdown

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: And here's Part II. It's intense (I think) but I'm proud of it. I hope you are too.

* * *

**Showdown**

* * *

"Jade," Beck whispered.

I shook my head, all the while silently pleading for him to get out of here. I knew that as soon as I was dead, Trinity going to go after him and I didn't want Beck to die. She might even start to kill him now, just to make me suffer more. I wouldn't put anything past her. After what she put me through, there wasn't anything she could do that would surprise me.

"Beck! Get out of here and protect Cat!" I shouted. I just wanted him to get out of here. I didn't want him to die. I didn't want him to suffer.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said.

Trinity pulled another knife from her back pocket and I watched as she concealed it into her hand. I continued to pull at the handcuffs, using my body weight. If they had been used as often as Trinity said, they had to have a weak point.

"Alright. We can play that way. You like games, as I recall," Trinity began.

"Beck! Go!" I shouted at him.

"No," he said.

"You sure?" Trinity said. As soon as she finished her words, she threw the knife at Beck, who thankfully ducked in time.

"You missed. Your aim's off," Beck stated.

"But the next one won't. It'll go into her," she said, pointing at me. "And she won't so easily be able to dodge it like you did."

"You're not going to touch her," he seethed.

"Oh really? And you're going to stop me? I'd love to see you try. You couldn't before."

"You had me restrained before. You don't now."

Beck stepped closer, causing Trinity to move closer to me.

"You're not touching her," she said. She grabbed another one of her knives from her back pocket and traced it over with her fingers. "At least not without this crossing your neck first."

Beck stood his ground for a minute as Trinity twirled the knife between her hands.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Well, if she had died like she was supposed to six weeks ago, we wouldn't even be in this situation. Well, you might but she wouldn't be."

"Why?" Beck asked. It was the same question I had been trying to figure out since everything started back in February.

"You ask that like you expect an answer?"

"Why did you kill Robbie?"

"For the exact same reason that I'm about to kill her for. Well, hers is a little different now, but we'll go back to the original."

"What did she ever do to you?!" Beck shouted. "Or Robbie?!"

Trinity cocked her head to the side as she looked at Beck.

"Why does it matter?" she asked.

"It does!" Beck shouted.

"No," she said, shrugging. "It really doesn't matter. She'll still be dead. I'll make sure of that."

Beck moved closer which made Trinity throw another knife at him. Only this time, it hit him, in the arm. I felt guilt wash over me from the fact I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even get lose to help fight, not that I would have been much help anyway.

"Move again and I'll kill her now," she said. "Is that what you really want?"

She set her favorite knife, the way she rarely even switched from, on the table and grabbed a smaller blade. Beck watched her carefully, apparently not wanting her to act on killing me, which I couldn't blame him for. I didn't want to die but that almost seemed like an inevitability right now, especially with her walking right at me.

"Let's try this again."

Trinity snaked her arm around my exposed flesh that was already bleeding and held one of her knives to it.

"Shall we continue?" she asked.

I shook my head as tears left my eyes. I didn't want her to do it.

"This may hurt just a little," she softly said.

She used her knife to connect the lines that she had started to draw earlier. I quickly realized what she was trying to draw on my stomach: her mark, the trinity knot. The one on my back wasn't right. She had to make her mark.

"Feel free to move. It just means more pain for you," she whispered.

As much as I didn't want to, every time her blade came in contact with me, I wanted to move away from it. I hated it.

"Leave her alone!" Beck shouted.

Beck ran toward Trinity and knocked her to the ground, causing her knife to fly out of hand, but not completely out of reach. Trinity was able to flip Beck onto his back and grab her knife that was just barely out of reach. I could tell she was getting ready to stab him with how she had her arm angled and how she was holding the knife. Beck was trying to fight her off.

"No!" I screamed. I needed her to look at me.

"You can't stop me," she said to Beck.

"Watch me," he retorted.

As she leaned in closer to Beck with the knife in her hand, something caught her attention. She looked to where the door was.

"Sirens," she said. Her eyes lit up. "Did you bring some friends for me to play with?"

Beck was breathing heavily as Trinity got up before doing so himself. Trinity set her knife on the table and seemed to relax for a moment, but I knew it wouldn't last. I didn't even blame Beck for not immediately running toward me. It was probably a trap anyway.

"It's time to end this," she said.

I looked at Beck and then at Trinity with what little energy I had left. She didn't seem to stop. She didn't even seem tired.

"Beck!" I shouted as Trinity turned to throw a knife at him. "No!"

I could only watch in horror as Trinity's knife landed in Beck's leg and he screamed out in pain. Then she turned to me.

"Your turn," she said, her tone deadly.

I shook my head as Trinity grabbed her favorite knife from the table where she laid it earlier. She held it over her head and smiled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Beck pulled the knife from his leg. As soon as he pulled it out, Trinity threw her knife over her shoulder and all I could do was close my eyes for a moment as I felt it force itself into my stomach. I could feel blood gushing out and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do anything. I was going to die.

"No! Jade!"

Beck ran toward me, only to be stopped by Trinity and shoved back onto the floor. She crouched down on top of him and I saw her hold the knife to his neck.

"Now you have a choice: do you want to come after me or save her? Key's on the counter. She's not going to survive anyway so you might want to enjoy your last moments. Enjoy what you have left."

I let the first of what I knew would be many salty tears fall down my face. I was going to die and Beck…

Beck…

"You were fun. I hope I find another like you," Trinity whispered into my ear as she pulled the knife out of my stomach.

Beck…

Beck…

"I've got you," he said softly. I was barely aware of Beck wrapping his arm around my waist as he fiddled with key to unlock the handcuffs. I heard a gunshot but I couldn't get myself to hold my head up to even see what had happened.

I was tired…weak…_pain_…

"Don't let go," I whispered.

"We got you," my dad said.

"Stay…don't…alone…stay," I whispered again. I couldn't get my voice to go any higher.

"You're not going to die," Beck said.

"Don't lie to me," I retorted. I knew how bad the damage was. I knew I had lost a lot of blood. I had heard Trinity and she didn't lie.

"You're not going to die," he reiterated. "We already lost Robbie and we can't lose you, not again. You can't, Jade."

I felt tired…and weak…_hurts_.

"Keep your eyes open and look at me! Jade!"

"Hurts," I softly cried. "Beck…I love you."

Beck shook his head. "It's not goodbye."

"Tell Cat–Dad…"

"No! Don't you start saying goodbye! You're not going anywhere! You're gonna be fine!" Beck shouted. He pushed my hair away from my face and held my cheek, gently stroking his thumb against it.

"Beck…"

Beck…

Dad...

…

…

…

"She's flatlining!"

…

…

"No! NO!"

…

..

.


	24. Is Death Nice

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: A special shoutout to The Banshee Queen. Us talking really pumped this chapter out. Thank you.

* * *

**Is Death Nice**

* * *

_I yawned as I let my limbs stretch out. I felt rope and I panicked until I saw that I was lying in a hammock, half covered with a teal blanket._

"_This is for you," someone said, holding a cup of coffee in front of me. I was surprised by who it was._

"_Robbie?" I asked. _

"_Yeah," he replied, flopping back onto the hammock with me. _

_I took a sip of my favorite beverage and smiled to myself when I realized that Robbie had put the two things of sugar I liked in it. It was perfect._

_I set my drink down on the small table beside me and looked around. I was on a balcony of what looked to be a small villa cottage._

"_What is this place?" I asked. I could see the ocean from where I stood and I shuddered. Oceans meant dolphins and if I was dead, the last thing I wanted to deal with was my worst fear. Second worst after Trinity._

"_I don't know exactly but I like it. It's like my own personal piece of heaven. That might be what it is but it's not at the same time. It's nice to have company though. I won't lie."_

_I sat back down on the hammock and pushed my hair back behind my ears. I quickly took notice of the fact that my skin was completely flawless. I couldn't see anything that Trinity had done._

"_Is death nice?" I asked._

_Robbie shrugged his shoulders. "It's got its moments. It doesn't seem right that we're here though…that I'm here."_

"_And me?"_

"_No."_

"_What do you mean?"_

_Robbie looked at me with a sad expression on his face._

"_You're not really here. You just think you're here. You're close though," he said._

"_I don't understand."_

"_Come with me," he said._

_Robbie held his hand out for me to grab but I just followed him. He brought me inside the cottage and toward the window on the other side. I expected to see the ocean but not me, lying in a hospital bed. It was like I was looking through a television screen._

"_That's you," he said. "You've been in a coma for about a week and a half now and…Jade, you're just barely hanging on. You have to wake up."_

"_I don't know if I want to," I softly admitted. I didn't know what happened to Trinity…if she was still out there…it would just mean more hell for me. I couldn't do that anymore. I couldn't. _

"_You can't let her take someone else. You can't let her claim your death. She already taken mine," Robbie whispered._

"_Your death wasn't your fault! It was hers! She did it!"_

"_Don't let her take someone else. Don't let her take you too. Jade, you have to wake up for Beck…for Cat…everyone, please?"_

_I wasn't sure if I wanted to wake up. I didn't know what had happened to Trinity._

"_Make yourself do it," he said, almost as if he was able to read my mind._

"_How?"_

"_When you wake up, don't speak. You're on a ventilator."_

"_How?! How am I supposed to wake up?!"_

_Robbie just shrugged his shoulders and began to walk away._

"_Robbie, how am I supposed to wake up?!" I shouted at him._

_Robbie turned to face me. "I don't know. But you need to figure it out."_

"Jade, please," Beck begged. "You've got to wake up."

_I watched with tears in my eyes as Beck stroked my cheek and let tears fall down his face. I had never seen him more broken before but I imagined this was what he was like when Trinity had me alone._

"Please? I need you to wake up. We all do. Cat's a mess. Your dad can barely function right now. Jade…you need to wake up."

_I knew that. But it felt so much more complicated than that. I didn't know how. I didn't even know how I was still alive, even if I was having something breathe for me._

"Come in!" Beck called.

_Tears sprang to my eyes as Tori, Cat, and André came in. _

Cat was holding Mr. Purple and they all looked like they had been crying or on the verge of doing so.

"Still got Mr. Purple?" Beck asked. Cat nodded her head into her favorite giraffe.

_I had done this to them. They were like this because I couldn't wake up._

"Hey," André said. "How are you holding up?"

Beck shook his head.

"Anything yet?" Tori asked.

"Not yet. Not..come on, Jade."

"Is she still not better?" Cat asked.

_Was I really that bad off right now? I knew I was in intensive care and on a ventilator but I was alive, sort of, so that had to count for something, right?_

"Cat, why don't you and Tori and André and get some cupcakes, okay?" Beck said.

"No. I want Jade to wake up. Why won't she wake up?!" Cat shrieked.

Tori had to restrain Cat from moving.

"You like cupcakes. This will be good for you. And you too, Beck. You need to get out of this room," Tori stated.

"I need to stay here," he said.

"You have to come with us. It won't be the same!" Cat cried.

Beck stood up and embraced Cat in a hug. "I've got to stay here. Someone has to stay in the room."

"Where's Jade's father?" André asked.

Beck pulled away from Cat and sat back down. "He's talking to some doctors…if Jade doesn't wake up soon."

"Jade may not wake up?" Cat asked, panic in her voice. "But…she…"

"Why don't you get me a cupcake?" Beck suggested.

_I could tell what he was doing. It was the same tactic I used: distract Cat to keep her occupied._

"Can it be a rainbow cupcake?" she asked.

"Whatever you'd like. Surprise me."

"Can we get Jade a cupcake too? They have one that's coffee flavored."

Beck bit his lip back. "Jade would love that."

"I'll see if they have a scon for you too. If Jade wakes up, you'll call us, right?"

_It hurt me to see everyone falling apart. I wanted to wake up. I couldn't handle seeing them in pain, least of all Beck. _

Beck nodded his head and began to focus on me once everyone left. He lifted my hand in his and kissed the back of it. He brought it back down to the bed, but didn't let go.

"You know what I love the most about you, Jade? Your eyes. You have the most beautiful eyes and right now, I'd give anything to see them. Or see you smile. I love your smile…the one you only let me see when we're alone. And it means a lot to me that you only let me see it.

"You're perfect, you know that? For me. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I love how jealous you get because I know it means you love me. I love you…more than anything Jade. I do. I don't know if you can hear me."

_I can. Beck…_

"_Jade," Robbie began._

"_I know!" I snapped. I needed to wake up._

"Jade, you mean the world to me. Seeing you…there…I can't lose you. You can't die. I fought for you. Got the scars to prove it and I'd do it again if I had to. So I need you to wake up, alright? Okay? Please?"

_But I didn't know how to wake up._


	25. Touch

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: I got nominated for a Topaz Award! I can't tell you how excited I am about that. I got nominated for Best Author! Rekindle got nominated for Best Bade! And voting is currently going on!

Everyone, go vote! There are some really fantastical pieces that have been nominated. Every vote counts!

There is one more chapter after this. It's more of an epilogue than anything else.

So…I hope you guys enjoy. Try not to cry.

* * *

**Touch**

* * *

…

_Beep._

…

_Beep._

…

"Please?"

…

_Beep._

…

_I still didn't know how to wake up and it was frustrating me. I'd been trying to figure it out for two days._

"_Robbie, how am I supposed to wake up?" I asked._

"_How badly do you want it?" he questioned._

_I looked back at Beck. He had barely left my side at all. I couldn't stand to see him in this much pain._

"Come on, Jade. It's been twelve days," he said, his voice breaking.

_I want to Beck. I really do. Words couldn't begin to express how badly I wanted to, just to put him out of his misery. _

Beck looked up as my Dad walked in. He looked like he hadn't sleep in days.

"Any change?" my dad asked.

"No."

My dad sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed and sighed, letting his hand run across his face.

_Beck took my hand into his and I wanted to squeeze it back. I wanted him to know that I could hear him, that I wanted to wake up. I wanted to be with him._

_I felt my hand grow tightly into a ball. I wanted to wake up. I needed to wake up._

"Jade?"

"_You did it. You didn't let her win," Robbie said._

_I had done it. I had done something to let Beck know I was there. And I didn't let Trinity win. I hadn't. I couldn't. She took Robbie. I couldn't let her take me too._

"Hey, she's awake," Beck said, hitting my dad across the bed. "Get a doctor."

I tried to open my mouth, but then quickly remembered I was on a ventilator. But I could at least open my eyes.

"Jade?" my dad asked.

I reached for his hand and squeezed it just enough to let him know I was there. I was awake. I was alive.

My dad let out a huge sigh of relief and smiled, tears in his eyes.

"I'll go get a doctor," he said.

I tried to shift my body to look at Beck but I could barely move.

"Hey."

I squeezed his hand.

"Missed you."

I nodded my head as best I could.

As the doctor and nurses came in to help remove the ventilator I was currently on, I closed my eyes, to which Beck started to immediately panic from. I squeezed his hand, reassuring him that I wasn't going anywhere. I just didn't want to watch the procedure. Feeling it was going to be bad enough. And it was.

"Your throat might be sore for a little while but it'll be fine in time," the doctor said. "If you find you're having a difficult time breathing, let one of the nurses know and we'll come up with a solution."

I nodded my head.

"I'll go get you some ice to help soothe your throat, alright?" Beck said.

"'Kay," I replied.

When Beck left, I turned to my dad.

"Did I die?" I asked.

"You flatlined twice on us."

"I'm sorry."

"But you're with us now. But don't ever put us through that again. We thought we'd lost you."

I shook my head. "You can't get rid of me that easily. You really care, huh?"

My dad nodded his head. "I wish it didn't take this experience to realize that. I still don't like that you want to pursue a career in the arts but I can live with that. I love you…very much."

"I know."

I had hated that it had taken something like this to make me realize it too but knowing that my dad did care about me meant a lot. I always thought that because he hated what I wanted to do with my life, that he hated me but I'm glad I was wrong.

Beck came back a minute or so later, with a large styrofoam cup in his hand. He sat down where he had previously and pulled one of the ice chips out.

"This should help," Beck said, bringing the thin piece of ice up to my lips.

The ice felt good at my scratchy throat. Beck really was the best boyfriend to ever exist and I was so incredibly lucky to have him.

"I'm going to go find your mom and then go speak to the doctors on how soon you can get out of here. Beck said you hated hospitals," my dad said. "And I know he'll take good care of you."

I looked up at Beck and he was smiling. "He always does."

"I'll send your friends in too. They've been waiting a while and I'm sure they'd like to see you."

"Thanks."

As my dad turned to leave, he gave me a genuine smile, one that I hadn't seen him have in a long time, and I knew it was for me. Then I turned my focus to Beck.

"How did you even find me?" I asked. I didn't remember a lot of what happened but I did remember Beck showing up at the lakehouse and that he and Trinity fought.

"A picture. It was us…on your back patio at the lakehouse. I remembered something Trinity had told me and it bothered me for the longest time but then I realized the damage she inflicted wasn't always physical. When she killed Robbie, it wasn't just about killing him; it was about hurting me because I couldn't do anything. So when she took you, it wasn't about making you suffer physically, but emotionally because that lakehouse was your safe haven."

"But you found me," I whispered.

"I wasn't going to lose you again. Twenty-three days without you was bad enough. I couldn't handle forever."

"You counted?"

Beck turned his head away, clearly in embarrassment. "Yeah. But life without you would have been worse. So much worse."

"Don't be cheesy."

Beck brought another piece of ice up to my lips as Cat peeked in.

"Can we come in? Jade's dad said we could," Cat questioned.

"You can come in," Beck said.

"YAY!" she shouted.

"You can't hug her though," Beck stated, standing up to catch Cat from running toward me.

"Why not?"

"Because the doctor doesn't want any pressure on her chest right since they just took her off the ventilator," Beck explained.

Cat pouted and I couldn't help but smile. "It's okay, Cat. Beck can't hug me either."

Cat sat down where my dad had been sitting and André sat down next to her. Tori sat next to Beck and I didn't feel a pang of jealousy at all. Tori was my friend. She wasn't going to take Beck away.

"So what's the plan now?" André asked.

"I think I have to stay here for a while," I half answered. I wasn't entirely sure what was next. Right now, I was still just happy to be alive. And awake.

"You'll definitely have to be in here for a little while. You had a few surgeries to deal with…I think you know," Beck said.

I didn't remember it all but I remembered Trinity. I was surprised that she didn't do enough damage in her rage to successfully kill me, even though I had flatlined twice. If she had killed me completely, I wouldn't have somehow made it through.

"Did they get her?" I asked.

"Yeah. My dad said that she'll never get out. The damage she did to you alone with put her away for a very long time. And there's no chance for parole," Tori said.

"Good."

"And we got you back," Beck pointed out.

That was true. But we didn't get Robbie back. But I guess if Trinity hadn't murdered him, I never would have woken up.

At least now, Trinity couldn't claim anyone else.

She had lost.


	26. Goodbye with a Side of Meatballs

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Dan Schneider does.

* * *

Author's Note: Here it is, the last chapter of Rekindle. I'll be honest, I cried during it. You might want a tissue, if not for this, then for Affliction, which I've also just posted.

I can't even tell you guys what an incredible journey for me. I write these things on a limb and honestly, I never expect the response I get and it makes me feel so special and you guys make this journey so worth it, even when I want it throw it out the window and give it up.

I love you guys so much so thank you for everything. Here's the epilogue. Enjoy.

* * *

**Goodbye with a Side of ****Meatballs **

* * *

November 13.

Robbie's birthday.

He would have been eighteen years old today.

It wasn't fair.

Then again, nothing in life really was. I had had a lot of time to think about that, especially since I spent most of my summer in the hospital. But it wasn't until now that I had actually come to see Robbie…to say goodbye to him. It was the only way I was going to be able to let myself move forward. I just couldn't believe it had taken me this long to make this step.

Beck had insisted that I be the only one in his car as we drove to the cemetery. I didn't know why. I didn't speak the entire time. I didn't have anything to say to him. Just Robbie.

When we arrived, Beck opened the door and held his hand out. Such a gentleman.

"Ready?" he asked.

I nodded my head and let go of his hand and began to walk forward. I had to do this alone.

"Jade?"

"No, I…I'd just like a few minutes to myself. I haven't had a chance to say goodbye to Robbie and I need to," I whispered. "I'll send you a text when I'm ready for you guys to join me."

"You take as long as you need. We'll wait."

I rubbed my arms with my hands in attempt to warm myself up. It was awfully cold for an early November day in Los Angeles. As I made my way up to Robbie's grave, all I wanted to do was cry. I hated what they did to him and he had to endure in his last moments. It was wrong. I sat down in front of it and ran my fingers across the engraving with the dates.

"They got her," I whispered, "but that doesn't really change what happened because you're not here. I know we never really got along but I really wish you were here with us, Robbie. We miss you. We'll always miss you. _I _miss you. So in honor of you and your birthday and your memory, we've all come together and spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread, just like you told Cat. Meatballs are sort of the one having thing that's been keeping us all together since you…left us.

"I don't know why…why Trinity wanted to take you away from us. I wish I did. But I want you to know that we'll never forget you. That _I'll_ never forget you. I know I constantly gave you a hard time and made fun of you and if I could take it all back, I would. You didn't deserve what happened to you.

"I know saying that I'm sorry won't take back what happened. It doesn't turn back time…it doesn't take away the guilt. It doesn't even seem to help but not saying it doesn't seem right either. And even though I hate that you're gone, I feel like I owe you. I'm not sure I was on some major painkiller but I could swear that after Trinity tried to kill me, I saw you. I think you saved my life. So even though you're gone, you're still with us."

I turned to see Beck, Cat, Tori, and André standing at the edge of the cemetery. I nodded my head and they came forward. I had had my moment with Robbie. It wasn't fair to keep him from everyone else.

"We miss you, Robbie. Every day," Cat whispered, laying down her bouquet of daisies. "I love you."

Cat sat down next to me and I pulled her into a hug. I wasn't sure if it was for my benefit or hers but I needed it. And I'm sure she needed it too.

"I miss Robbie. I miss him so much," I whispered into Cat's shoulders as I continued to hug her.

I felt Beck wrap his arms me and then Cat. "We all do, babe. Every day."

"Should I pass the meatballs out now?" André asked.

"Yeah," Beck said. "Are you alright?"

I nodded my head into Cat's shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Jade. We still have each other," Cat pointed out.

"I wish Rex was here though," I admitted.

"You miss Rex?" Tori asked, placing her hand on my shoulder.

I leaned back into Beck, who wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Yeah, I do. He's not a stupid puppet."

It would also mean that Robbie was here. I would give anything for him to be here. Our group of friends just didn't feel complete without him. But we all had to find a way to move forward from this tragedy, for Robbie. He'd want that.

As André and Tori passed out the bowls of meatballs, I felt a little better. Saying goodbye to Robbie was difficult and I knew it would be. But saying goodbye made me feel a little better. Reality was, there was nothing I could have done stop it. I hadn't to be at peace with myself if I wanted to move forward. Even though Robbie was gone, his memory would always live on, which let him live on.

We were never going to forget him.

Or the arguments he had with Rex.

Or the completely noticeable crush he had on Cat.

Or the time he had to do the hammer dance.

Or when he did Robarazzi.

Just him in general.

"You're going to be late for your appointment with Lane," Beck said.

"Lane said I could take as long I needed. He said he'd be in his office until five."

I didn't even have an appointment either. Lane said he had a colleague coming at five that he thought would help me. After I expressed that I didn't feel comfortable with people I didn't know, Lane thought it would be best to have them meet me in his office, which I had found some sort of refuge in. And both Lane and Beck preferred it over the janitor's closet because I couldn't lock it.

"It's five, though," he stated.

"Oh," was all I could say. "Alright."

"We survived," Beck said.

I looked down at Robbie's tombstone as I got up and shook my head.

"Not really."


End file.
